getting into the 'swing' again TMI warning

[tippytoes]

Girls,
I have been umming and ahhing about weather to post or not. DS is 8 months old, had a great PG although did have back and hemmaroid (sp) probs. Anyway, birth was great 5 hours intense labour, 2nd degree tear, no drugs, uprights labour and birth. My stitches weren't in far enough and didn't all dissolve by themselves. GP got them out (ow!!!) and then I went on to heal well. DTD has been a bit painful, but I think the real issue here is....well - I don't feel like it at all. I used to have a healthy appetite but since being PG ....nudda, nothing, zip!
I must admit I have not been feeling myself 100% lately, stress with money and work really..... but AF did return last week and I felt an instant release. I was soooo happy she visited . Do you think my libido will improve by itself now AF has returned. I am still BFing and wonder if that has anything to do with it?
Anyone been in my position? Advice please....
Rach xx

[Party-of-five]

maybe our libidos went away on holiday together because since DD2 came along I'd rather snort frozen peas than DTD I dont have pain issues I just have no interest what so ever, we ff so Ive had af for a while now and it hasnt made any difference. Im thinking about getting some advice from naturapath because my DH have been very understanding but im sure there is a limit to his patience.
Sorry no helpful advice but I just wanted you to know your not alone

[tippytoes]

thanks hun sorry you are feeling this way too, but it is nice to know I'm not alone,

BTW I'd rather snort frozen peas than DTD

that is very funny (imagery is great) rach xx

[Fleur]

I'd rather snort frozen peas than DTD

Sorry, no advice I'm in the same boat BUT I do think it's at least partly hormone related if that helps at all? Probably not much that can be done about it while BFing but just something to keep in mind after.
Of course caring for a whole other little person fulltime doesn't help much either see if your DH can give you a bit of time out to relax & see if that helps?

[ss_storm]

I'm not B/F but I feel the same way....

LOL at the frozen peas...lucky we don't have any in our freezer

[briggsy's girl]

it's not unusual, especially when BF, to say goodbye to your libido for a while hun! the hormonal changes can really impact you, and then when you add the "mummy" factor in there (someone completely reliant on you, your sleep is disturbed, you have no "space" for yourself) - it can be really overwhelming and the last thing you feel like doing is sex

it will get better. when bub is more independent, when you are getting more sleep etc you'll start to feel more like YOU and less like "just mummy" and you will want it again. well, thats what seems to have happened for me. i'm still tired (DD wakes several times a night to feed), i find that i want it at odd times, so can't always have it - but at least i am feeling that desire again. we are lucky to be doing it maybe once a week at the moment due to DH's work and DD's sleep stuff, but when it does happen, it's fantastic!

fwiw - i went through a few really crap months where i just wasn't interested. rather than having DH "hassle", i would take care of things for him so that he wasn't edgy, and tell him i'd let him know when i was ready for more. i asked him to NOT pressure me, to show me affection but not to try anything - i'd come to him when i was ready. he has been fantastic. he will cuddle me, hold my hand etc, but for anything more, he waits for me. i think because i'm feeling so understood and respected, it has helped my libido to come back because i'm feeling a lot from and for him kwim?

[Nai]

Yep - it's a tough time until you do get back into the swing of things! I have had AF back for a couple of months now and my libido has just started to get back on track. Give it a couple of cycles and you should start feeling a little bit more amorous

[Sterla]

Not unusual at all tippytoes! I had no desire to DTD for a long, long time after DS was born. It's only been in the last couple of months that I have actually wanted to DTD and enjoy it. I'm still breastfeeding, but A/F has (sort of) come back, and this did coincide with getting my libido back.

[tippytoes]

hey girls
thank you for all your support and suggestions much appreciated! xx