13 miscarriages in 5 yrs.. How do I cope?

[alffiesmummy]

I really feel like I am fighting a losing battle right now! In 5 years, I have had 13 miscarriages, and only one successful full term pregnancy... My most recent miscarriage was Sunday just gone.
I have finally been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic, but the waiting list for that place is ridiculous!
People keep telling me I should be grateful that I have my son, because atleast i'm not childless.. Which is true.. But is it really that selfish of me to want another baby so my son has a brother or sister??
Someone please help.. I really don't know how i'm expected to keep going!! If it wasn't for my son, Then i'd be a wreck by now!

[Fleur]

I am so sorry for your losses.
It's not selfish at all for you to want a brother or sister for your son.
I am sorry that this is what brings you to BB but you will find great support here.

[Tegam]

NO NO NO there is nothing selfish in wanting another bubba. I think that is something normally said to make themselves feel better not you!

I cant believe that they are only refering you now! 13 is far too many! I hope you find the support you need here at BB!

[RhiChiChi]

I really feel like I am fighting a losing battle right now! In 5 years, I have had 13 miscarriages, and only one successful full term pregnancy... My most recent miscarriage was Sunday just gone.
I have finally been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic, but the waiting list for that place is ridiculous!
People keep telling me I should be grateful that I have my son, because atleast i'm not childless.. Which is true.. But is it really that selfish of me to want another baby so my son has a brother or sister??
Someone please help.. I really don't know how i'm expected to keep going!! If it wasn't for my son, Then i'd be a wreck by now!

Welcome to BB alffiesmummy. I am so sorry for all your losses, your angel babies. You have certainly had a very difficult time. Have you considered alternative therapies, not just for the recurrent m/c but also for your emotional well-being whilst waiting to get into the clinic?

You are not selfish at all for wanting another baby, another member for your family! - This is what I want too and I have experienced 4 m/c so far from your 13 m/c. Please join in the LTTTC threads or something similar as there are many ladies whom have been through what you have been going through and can relate, empathise and give you tons of tips and support. x

[kelbel]

I'm so sorry to hear of all your losses..
I'm sure the people who have told you to be lucky have not experienced a loss, not a fair comment to make. I don't think it's selfish for you to want to be blessed with more children, it's only natural to want to try again and again.

Big hugs sweetie, I'll have everything crossed for you things go your way with the clinic

xx

[alffiesmummy]

Thankyou all for your kind words on all of ur posts. I am currently seeing a councellor whilst in the process of waiting to hear back from the m/c clinic.. But all she ever says is that she's sensing a lot of anger and negative energy... Well, D'UH!! What does she expect... I heard from the m/c clinic on Thursday and they are waiting for 4 more of my blood tests to come back and then they can give me my appt... Until then I have to sit and wait! I had my blood tests done back in Jan, all 18 bottles of blood! Just feels like i'm constantly waiting. Have been waiting 5 ears, don't want to wait any longer, sorry if that makes me sound selfish....

[Cherished]

I am currently seeing a councellor whilst in the process of waiting to hear back from the m/c clinic.. But all she ever says is that she's sensing a lot of anger and negative energy... Well, D'UH!! What does she expect...

I totally agree, what does she expect? I also can't believe that you are only just being referred now after a heart breaking 13 miscarriages. I'm so sorry to read of your losses and you will find so much support here on BB so welcome to our community Regarding your care providers, Don't feel like you need to keep seeing the same people if they are not taking your situation seriously, you have choice and if a Dr isn't giving you answers see someone else, don't wait for a 14th miscarriage. I was lead to believe that it was pretty standard to investigate after 3 losses and I was confident enough to demand all the tests after 2 confirmed losses and a possible 3rd. As RhiChiChi suggested alternative therapy is another option, not all answers lie in the medical profession. Goodluck with everything.

[alffiesmummy]

When I had my 2nd loss I asked my gp if I could be referred to the m/c clinic, but he told me I had to be 25 before I could be seen... So then went on to have another 10 miscarriages before I put my foot down when I was admitted to A&E and refused to move until I was referred to the clinic.. Even then they messed my blood tests up and had to go back a month later!! I can't demand to see anyone right now as they're still waiting for my blood results, until they come back, no-one will know what they are dealing with!!