After 7 months of TTC we found out on Friday morning (12/9/08) that I was UTD with #3 (Dh`s #5), I have to admit we were both shocked at first as my only syptoms were a very bloated tummy (I felt like a pregnant elephant LOL) and slightly tender BB`s and nipples, I didn`t have the dozen other syptoms I normally get so I was worried straight away and just couldn`t believe I was in fact UTD so I had to keep looking at my +HPT.
Off course I was also reliving my last pregnancy and loosing one of our twin babies at 6 weeks, I knew it wouldn`t be easy and just wanted to get through the next few weeks till I had my 9 week ultrasound.
On Sunday morning when I woke, I had that dreaded feeling that something was wrong I wasn`t pregnant, it was exactly the same feeling I had the morning I started bleeding last pregnancy, I tried to shrug it off, when Mark woke we started talking about the baby and wondering how are we going to hide the pregnancy when we go away in 3 weeks with MIL, SIL, nephews, neices, DSS`s, I then went on to say that some people buy a I`m going to be a big brother/sister t shirt for their little ones to wear, I was thinking I`d do that and Adrian can announce it to everyone.
So I got up and had to go into town with my Dad for some reason I put a pad on, got into town and I needed to use the toilet, my fears were answered, I found the first sightings of blood, now all I wanted to do was go home, I couldn`t tell Dad and I`m sure he must have known something was wrong, went into Woolies in a daze, thinking I want to go home to Mark.
Finally got home and my bleeding got heavier just like a normal period, Mark came home and found me sobbing my heart out, poor Matthew who`s 3 had a very concerned look on his face, for his sake I stopped and told him Mummy`s okay just feeing sad.
We only knew for 2 days darling that you had picked us to be your Mummy and Daddy, I had so many hopes and dreams for you, I couldn`t wait for Adrian to be your big Brother, I knew how much Matthew and Adrian would have loved you and probably would have been fighting with each other as to who wanted to help Mummy.
You`ll always be in our hearts, I hope you have found your big brother/sister and your both looking after each other.
I would have been 4 weeks, 5 days when our baby decided to go, even though it was an early miscarriage I still had hopes and dreams for my baby.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It doesn't matter how early a loss is, it still hurts like hell. I think it's even harder to deal with when you haven't told anyone about the pregnancy yet as no one knows what's going on. There's no one to share it with apart from your partner and that can be a huge strain on him. Make sure you both take care of yourselves and each other.
It Breaks My Heart To Be In Here Again
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It's just not fair! Look after yourself 
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