Josiah's birth...(sad and long)

[mummydreamer]

thought i would like to share the birth of my little J.....

as a bit of a background, i'll just explain my other births quickly. DS #1 was born at 38 weeks, i was induced as i had developed pre eclampsia. after 8 hours of contractions, his heart rate started to drop dramatically and i was rushed for an emergency c/s. they put the spinal block in, but after while, it hadn't worked, and so i had to be put under a general. it wasn't the best introduction to motherhood, i was in agony from the c/s and i wasn't even awake for the birth of my son, and because he was born at 5 pounds, he was admitted into the NICU for the first 3 days. i was also on morphine for pain relief, which made me sooo sick....anyhoo, eventually everything was good and we were allowed home. it was a long recovery but, he was a wonderful baby

when i was pregnant with DD, the hospital put me through the docotors clinic coz i was 'high risk' and also put me through a study for VBAC. pregnancy was pretty hard but no problems like pre eclampsia or anything. eventually i went into labour naturally with DD at 41 weeks and 4 days. laboured at home all day, only to get to hospital and find that i hadn't even started dilating yet!! eventually went on the gas....then the pethidine.....then finally the epidural as i was exhausted. after 5 hours of sleeping (oh the bliss!) i was eventually fully dilated and within 10 minutes of pushing, DD was born! all up, unofficially, DD's labour was 26 hours, with an epidural and 2nd degree tears.

fast forward to J.....his pregnancy was wonderful!! it was so easy, yeah i had my issues and my pains, but i was soooo happy to be pregnant with him! He was going to be my last baby, and i was just treasuring everything. When they told us the night he had died, i was just so scared of how i was going to give birth. Would i have the strength? would i have the courage? i was just freaking out that his labour would be as slow and as hard as DD's, and honestly, i thought that was the last thing i needed.....

on the tuesday morning, the midwife came in and inserted a small amount of gel (i think she said it was about 1mm?) like i had with DS#1, straight away i started getting contractions. i paced my room for a bit, then would sit down, then would start pacing again. eventually at about 3pm, a midwife came and took us to delivery suite. straight away, she broke my waters. i don't even think i was dilated yet. i think she was also a little bit rough, as i had to have the gas for her to do it, and i think with the high from the gas, and the 'feeling' of my waters breaking, and just the reality that this was it, i started balling so bad. at that moment i remember everything just hitting me. i know the midwife quietly left me and DH and we had a bit of a moment....i think my mum also left as well. the midwife came in and hooked me up to the drip too for the syntocin stuff. eventually i said i wanted to have a bath, and DH began running one. i got in there, and that helped with the contractions, but after while, they were just getting really intense, so we got the portable gas in for me. i know at some point my mum had said she was going to go out for a while (thinking i was going to have another labour like DD's) i remember DH saying 'gee your mum has been gone for ages...' it got to a point where the contractions in the bath were just too intense, even with the gas, and i opted to get out and have some morphine. the midwife cam in and did an internal, and said i was 4cm, and that was why things were getting intense. she gave me the morphine and said it would take about 10-15mins for it to kick in. (i maintain that it didn't kick in, coz it all happened so quick after that!) i know DH had gone and got my mum at this point, and i remember not long after she was back in, i got a couple of REALLY really strong contractions. i felt 'wet' down there, and even felt my body 'pushing' in the middle of a contraction. the midwife did another internal, and said i was pretty much dilated and i could start pushing.

i could feel the pressure down there, and only after a few pushes, little J was born. the midwife asked if i wanted him, and i said yes! she placed him on my chest, and all of us, me, DH and my mum were just so happy. he looked so beautiful! it was still so joyous when he came out and the midwife announced 'it's a boy!' and we got to cuddle him. the midwife also said i had no tears. he was born at 5:51pm. so from the time the midwife broke my waters, to the time he was born, it was only about 2 1/2 hours. no tears and only gas (i want to discount the morphine!) i couldn't have asked for a better labour and birth, and it's so bittersweet to think that the birth i always wanted, was the one where i couldn't take my baby home....