I'd like to start with admitting that I'm unsure how all of this works. I've never used a forum, or even anything similar, so please be patient with me.
I lost a child in October, due to Renal Agenesis, at 20 weeks. I only took a week off from work at the time, because I needed to get out of the house and back to some form of normal. My due date was Feb. 16, 2009, and I'd asked my boss about taking that day off, so that I could react/respond however I needed to that day. I didn't want to have to pretend to be ok if I wasn't. I was told that I should just come on in to work, and try to keep busy in order to keep my mind off of things. Well, my brother and his wife were due to have their daughter on Feb 20, 2009, and the dr. decided to take her early (on the 10th). I didn't handle it very well. I honestly just thought I might lose my mind. So I took a couple of days off from work to get back into a decent frame of mind. Now I've a case of a stomach virus which meant I had to take a day off, and I have an appointment with a specialist next week which means another day off. My boss seems upset with me that I've had to take a couple of days off so close together. I'm afraid I'm going to get fired. I don't know how to handle this! I work in a Chiropractic office, so I can't go to work sick, and the Dr. appt next week is for a specialist who only takes new patients on certain days of the week, all of which are working days for me, so I'll have to take off. If I don't go to the appt next week, it's going to be June before I can get in. My hubby and I want to find out if it is safe for us to try to conceive again, or if it is too dangerous. Any and all advice and help will be greatly appreciated.
Sorry to hear about the loss of your precious angel.
I would ask your boss if you can talk to him and be totally honest with him. If you clear the air and let him know it hasnt been deliberate with taking the days off, im hoping he might be a bit more understanding.
You can only try. I hope it all goes well. The specialist appt too
Hi sister07,
I'm so sorry for your loss, and what you're going through. I lost my little boy Joshua on 1 October and he was due on 12 February. Did you have a girl or a boy?
I'm so sorry that your boss is not more understanding and flexible. When I lost my little son, I took 6 weeks off work as I just couldn't face going back there and face everybody. Lucky for me, my boss is very understanding and flexible too. My advice to you would be to explain that you've had a rough patch lately with being sick and that you've made your specialist appointment weeks ago and like Kristy said, just be totally honest and hopefully she/he will understand. I think if you have to waith until June you'll go mad!!!
I know I would...
Good luck hun, with any luck your boss will do the right thing and let you have the day off for your app.
Beata xx
Thank you so much for the hugs, and the understanding. I think that I will try to talk to my boss, and see if a little one on one conversation will help her understand. It has relieved my mind to know that there are others who have been where I am, thank you so much!
sister07 firstly welcome to BB you will find an amazing source of information and comfort here, I know I have.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. And I'm sorry you've had all this extra upset around your EDD. I don't think by law your boss can fire you for being sick, I guess it depends on your arrangements there. I also think you should just lay it all out, tell he/she how you feel and that your sorry all this has come up at once ... but sometimes in life that happens right.
I am really sorry to hear that you lost your precious baby, it is a very traumatic thing to go through so I am sure your boss is sympathetic. I agree with the girls that speaking to her about what you need right now is important. I am sure under the circumstances she will know that and appreciate you speaking to her. I agree with Beata, you'll go crazy if you had to wait that long to ttc and having the confidence to try again is really important. Please feel free to join us in the TTC after late loss thread when you are ready, it is very supportive & encouraging.
Welcome to BB my love - & I am so sorry for the loss of your little one...
What you are experiencing is very very big - unfortunately some people don't have the life experience, maturity or compassion to know just how big this is for a mother.
Whilst I understand that it is difficult to fill in for someone when they are absent but this is a very big emotional drain. You are human not android and you need to do what you need to do.
It is perfectly reasonable to have time off for a doctors appointment. The specialist will provide you with a certificate on request - so do that if you can.
I would be kind but very assertive.
This week I have a tummy bug and therefore cannot work. Next week I have a doctors appointment that is during work hours. I will provide you with a certificate.
You cannot lose your job for having sick time that is reasonable. Taking your baby's due date off work. Having a tummy bug - a doctors appointment. They are reasonable. Whilst it is tricky that they have fallen around the same time - that's life and you need this for you.
Registered User
Help, please.
it is a very traumatic thing to go through so I am sure your boss is sympathetic. I agree with the girls that speaking to her about what you need right now is important. I am sure under the circumstances she will know that and appreciate you speaking to her. I agree with Beata, you'll go crazy if you had to wait that long to ttc and having the confidence to try again is really important. Please feel free to join us in the TTC after late loss thread when you are ready, it is very supportive & encouraging.
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