I kept busy today, trying to keep my mind off what we went through exactly a month ago. We went out to the markets in the morning & had a nice time. On the way back I told Aaron we had to go do something else because I couldn't just sit around the house because I'd be thinking about it. This was all around the exact time our u/s was. I told him I was ok but was worried more about when AF arrived. He asked why. I said it was because I shouldn't be having one... I should be pregnant.

Then I lost it I said can we change the subject & he suggested that maybe we shouldn't & I needed to talk about it still. I couldn't, I didn't want to have a talk in the car so we left it.

I'm ok for the most part & don't think about it, but I think that's the key I'm ok if I don't think about it. Thursday will be tough (1 month from D&C) and then I suppose I have to get past each month & then our due date

Gosh this is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I miss my baby so much