I just want to get my story down (LONG)

[Snowy Love]

We were trying 18 months before DS was conceived & so were delighted to get a BFP after only 4 cycles this time. I didn't get morning sickness (which I did with DS) and I was concerned, so had an early scan.

I had a pink tinge when I wiped Tuesday (9/9) & loose movements, so I was worried, but thinking my scan that afternoon would reassure me. Last scan 30/8 (10 days previous) sac measured 5w 5d (should have been 6w 6d), this one 6w 4d and no foetal pole, no heartbeat to be seen, so its not good. Radiographer said it just could be a slow developer, but I didn't hold out much hope. Tuesday afternoon/evening/this morning I had light bleeding (more than spotting, less than a normal AF) Couldn't get into the doc I'd been seeing so far with the pg until Saturday.

I got to work on Thursday (11/9) & thought 'no, I don't want to wait till Saturday' and made an appointment with a different doctor at the same surgery for 11 that day. She did an internal exam, the cervix was still closed. She sent me for a blood test then and on Saturday, to ensure my levels were falling and made an appointment to see her again on Sunday.

On Friday, I decided that instead of doing the groceries in the morning (which I normally do on Fridays), I'd wait till the afternoon. I turned In the Night Garden on for DS to watch while I cooked and just as it started I felt a rush of fluid and went to the loo. I was passing clots and my pad was full. I called DH and said "its over, I'm passing the baby" he asked if I wanted him to come home & I said "no, I'll be OK." Obviously, I wasn't thinking straight. I felt more, and within 10 mins I'd soaked the pad. I called DH back and said I'd changed my mind, come home - he said "I left 10mins ago." Called the GP, and they said come straight in.

Got to GP, they put me in the treatment room to wait for GP to finish with her patient, felt more pass (soaked through to my trackies) & sent DH (with DS) to the supermarket to buy pads & undies. Went to the loo, more clots, GP knocks on the door, I can go into her room, I ask for something to wrap around me. GP & nurse come into the loo, there was blood running down my legs. I shuffle with a sheet around me across the hall into the GP's room & she examines me. She tries to clear around the cervix with swabs and pulls something out, but says it's not everything and recommends I go for a curette. I decide to go private and say I saw James when I had DS - it's his surgery day (which I knew, cause DS was born on a Friday & he missed the birth). James didn't have space available & recommended Kirsten. They said come in to her rooms straight away.

Its 25 min drive to Nambour from Coolum, and about 10 mins in I say to DH "I'm gonna faint" (I've fainted about 10 times so I'm very familiar with the feeling beforehand) According to DH I was out for longer than usual. We ring Kirsten's rooms and they say go straight to the hospital.

I'm met at the hospital by a very nice nurse Kelly, who took me to the surgery ward. Kirsten comes to see me (and remembers DH & I from when DS was born!), examines me and pulls out some cotton from the swab at the GP that was in the cervix. She said that might have been what made me faint. I went down to surgery, and had a suction curette under a general.

Mum & Step-Dad came up from Brissie and took DS home, and after 3 or 4 hrs of having my BP checked every half hour, I was discharged.

Goodbye little angel. You were much wanted and loved and won't be forgotten.

Well that's my story. I just wanted to get it down before my pathetic memory lost some of it, and so I can stop going over it in my head.