i have two healthy boys, and i started ttc 5mths ago i fell pregnant and took 7hpt before i actually believed it wow here we go again how exciting, i started having cramps thought it was normal pregnancy stuff. friday i started bleeding, saturday admitted to hospital, sunday 0230 i believe i passed my baby, monday home today beta hcg results levels dropped so no d and c at this stage and no ectopic.

i can't stop thinking about certain things such as i flushed my baby down the toilet, where would the babies spirit be would it be stuck in limbo because it wasnt baptised?, and my husband wants me to be normal and happy and i just cant be, i get really sad because i think this was as much as a child of mine as my other two boys and i am devastated as much as i would be as if one of them died, so why is noone else? i feel very alone in my grief and i cant stop crying.

has anyone else thought like this?