On March 27 at around 12:30am I was admitted to hospital at 22 weeks pregnant after some sudden cramping and spotting. The nurse reassured me that I was probably just needing to take it easy..right up until they did an internal exam and noticed my membranes poking out.
I was put in the antenatal ward after a day, waiting for the contractions to stop so the doctors could operate. They were going to give me a cervical stitch.
On March 29th at about 8am my water broke. The chances of our son surviving were pretty much 0. I went into a disocciative state which lasted through labour and coming home..thankfully.
Vincent was born at 2:50pm that same day. He was and remains the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. The nurses were fantastic. They set up a little foldaway bed next to me, and let us have our son in the room for as long as we wanted.
The next day we asked that they take him out of our room while we went out for a walk so I wouldn't be freaking out when they took him away. I said my goodbye before we went out and the next time I saw him was at the funeral.
We had a service for him the next week. It was beautiful, everyone who mattered to us was there and a catholic priest we have become close with cleared his calender for the day and came out to help with arranging everything. He also rushed to the hospital the day our son was born to bless him and pray for us.
Three months on, I'm coping ok. My husband is doing well. I miss our son every day, but like so many others, hide behind smiles and just 'getting on' with life. It can be so hard - especially on the days when I really sit down and think about everything, and sometimes seeing Vincent's cot, toys, blankets, photos just ensures I end up crying in a ball on the floor somewhere.
In our bedroom we have a shelf. On it there are books we would have read him had he survived. There's a little blanket with a cow embroidered on it. We have the little book the hospital gave is with his foot and hand prints on it. And I wear a gorgeous blue ring with a blue stone on it to remind me on my very down days that I have someone watching over me.
Hi,
I'm really sorry for the loss of your son. It is an awful time for you. I too lost my son at 24wks and the grief is unbearable. Let yourself grieve in any way you want to. This is something you will not just get over. The pain of your loss will never go away but you learn to deal with you grief. Your son will always be in your heart.
Take care,
Dianne
8weeks, I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious little Vincent. I can't imagine how painful it must have been to say goodbye to him. I hope you find some support from the ladies on here who have been through a similar traumatic event. Take care of yourself. xx
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son Vincent. Three months is not a long time and you are probably still in the raw stages of grieving. There will be constant reminders of 'what could have been' as we struggle to live without our precious bubs and the dreams and hopes we had for them. Continue to take one day at a time and you will learn to live in a world that no longer holds your loved one. Your ring sounds beautiful and a wonderful way to remember your son.
Yours was our worst case senario when I was admitted with bulging membranes at 21 weeks.
I wish I could offer something other than an ear if you ever need it. I know its very difficult and I am at a different stage to you but one thing that has helped me in a very small way was to look at the time I had with my baby girl as a good thing, regardless of the outcome.
Vincent is a very special child and is a beautiful angel watching over you.
I don't know what else to say, I am going through this also.
Love and hugs to you, I wish I could come to you in person and we could cry together.
Im so sorry to hear about Vincent I agree whole heartedly with Lynn's post, you will learn to live without your precious boy. It will never be easy and there will always be hurt inside you, but give yourself the time you need to grieve. The grief never goes away but it does get easier to live with. Look after yourself.
So sorry to hear of your dear son's passing. Unfortunately there's a few of us who have experienced the same sort of grief. Please take care and always know that your little angel will always be there for you and your DH.
My Son
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please keep faith and don't give up ...
I agree whole heartedly with Lynn's post, you will learn to live without your precious boy. It will never be easy and there will always be hurt inside you, but give yourself the time you need to grieve. The grief never goes away but it does get easier to live with. Look after yourself.
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