In April my husband and I decided it was time to start a family. I was so exited. I got ov tests from the shop, preg tests too and started trying like there was no tomorrow. I couldn't contain myself, and started taking preg tests straight away. After two weeks of neg I finally got a pos, and tested again tree times just to be sure. (this was an expensive exersise).I was over joyed. I made an appointment with my Ob. She wouldn't see me till I was at least 11 weeks. That took me back a little, but she knows what she's doing. So I went merrily along my way. At 6 weeks I started to get some brown discharge when I wiped. Not alot and not any thing alarming. I was a little anxious, but there was an article in one of the pregncy mags I read, that talked about spotting in pregnancy. It said brown spotting was likely to be excess placenta dying off. I being clueless found this reasuring. I stopped worrying. Every few days I would get more spotting. I guess I was alittle concerned, but my Ob appt wasn't for anotherfour weeks. So this went on for a few weeks, then just a week before my appt, I started getting red spots. I went to my GP. He said "when was your last scan?" Scan??? I havent had one. My Ob wont see me till friday. this is the first time I've seen any one! He looked at me a long time. then picked up the phone and called the ultra sound clinic. I was down at the clinic that afternoon. Here I was..10weeks preg and I thought every thing was ok. After doing a scan of my uterus, they gave me an internal scan, If I wasn't worried before, I was then. They don't do internal unless they have to. Sorry, theres no heart beat. I was shattered. The scan showed that It died at 6 weeks...when my spotting started. I drove the hour and a bit home in complete numbness. That night my husband asked me what he could do to make me feel better, he would give me any thing I want...." A healthy Baby!!!!" I screamed, then broke down and cried like I haven't cried since I was a toddler, the way only children can cry. I cried most of the night. The next day I was OK.
I had a little cry on afriends shoulder, but I was purged. They sent me in for a D&C the next week, by which stage I was emotionally stable again.

There are two morrals to this story.
If there is ANYTHING you are uncertain of, see your doc, doesn't matter what colour it is, if you spot see your doc.

Secondly. If the unthinkable happens. Grieve. Cry, scream, rant. Do what it is you need to do.

You never know what will happen.
I'm now seven weeks preg again. I'm hopefull, but because of what happened, I'm anxious all the time. I'm always wondering if the jellybean is still there. I had a scan at six weeks and it showed a heartbeat! So there you are.
Thats my story. I'm notlooking for sympathy. I'm hoping people will learn from what I've been through.

Lisa