Waiting

good luck megsie, hope it all turns out well

Hi Megsie. Good luck and I will say a prayer for you.

It's so hard for you to go through this not knowing. I'll be praying.

Hi Megsie,

This must be such a hard time not knowing - but i am holding onto hope for you. I am sending everything positive i have to you and :pray: that all is okay.

wow, i am hoping hard for you megsie!! I really hope this little one sticks for you. it would be such a hard spot to be in for you!! what a roller coaster!! Fingers and toes crossed for you mate!!

Take it easy
SB

I had the ultrasound on Monday and as expected it showed that things have not progressed. So now I am waiting to miscarry. Strangely enough I actually feel better now I know what's going on. Also my spotting has now turned to bleeding so I'm hoping things will happen soon and it doesn't drag on forever like some I've read about.
My heart goes out to those who are also going through this terrible experience.

sorry it was bad news ,my heart goes out to you, just take one day at a time,we are all here for you

Oh Megsie, big huge :hug: I'm really sorry sweetie.

Are you going to have to have a D&C? I wish you a speedy recovery, i will be thinking of you. I'm sure you do feel relief at knowing, but it's still so very sad. I'm truly sorry, i dont know what else to say, other than i am shedding a tear for you.

Take care over the next few days. xoxoxxo

Star
xoxoxoxo

:( hugs megsie

I'm so sorry. If you need to talk, come here.

Thanks ladies for your lovely support, it's funny how these difficult experiences bind us together. I have a son who is disabled and I always find I have a bond with other mothers who have walked the same path.
I am doing OK, I think. Mostly I am able to get on with things which was something I was finding difficult before I knew what was happening. I think when the event finally arrives I will probably have some more time of grief. Certainly I find myself wishing I was pregnant and longing to be again. I am however going to give myself a couple of months for numerous reasons, not least being a hectic workload.
I am managing to get myself through the work day, I just wish I could face telling anyone what was going on so maybe they would understand why I'm not quite myself.
Nothing seems to be happening just yet although I have started to bleed much more I still have not much in the way of cramps. Today I am very tired though, maybe it's the start. Also I keep dreaming about miscarrying so I don't even get relief when I'm resting!

Megsie the best advice I can give, and I m certainly no expert I only lost my angel babies 9 days ago, but my advise would be DO IT YOUR WAY. Dont worry about what people are saying or thinking or sometimes even what you think they are saying or thinking (if that makes sense). This part, the next few days and then beyond as you greive, it is for you and your baby. Dont let anything else interfer with your personal dealings. I dont know if i m wording this correctly, but if you want to cry then cry, cry until you think you can no more. if you want to scream then scream, scream until your you can hardly breath. if it hurts then allow it to hurt, dont try to hold the pain in. Be true to your feelings, be true to yourself and do not worry about others. I would love to say the pain will be over soon but I can not. Each day I will be doing something and I will just cry a thought of my babies will come to me and I ll just hurt. I do believe deep inside that I wont ever miss them any less than I do but I will LEARN to deal with it.

My thoughts are with you and as I say to myself constantly............ One Day At A Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One further thing, I found a poem on the internet the other day.

A Pair of Shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don’t hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

Megsie1977: It sounds from your post like you hadn't told a lot of people you were pregnant yet. DH and I never told anybody about our pregs until we heard the heartbeat, but all our MC's were before that point. I still think it was the right thing for us to do, because I've worked with women who told everybody as soon as they got thier BFP, only to have to un-tell everybody later when they MC'd. And I'm kind of a private person. But sometimes I wondered what kind of impression I was giving, because I tend to get very withdrawn and avoid people when I grieve (kind of like an injured animal finds a burrow to lick its wounds until it feels well enough again). That's another reason I like this site, because there's enough anonymity that I can really be myself when I'm on here and not have to act any particular way.

Megsie - My heart goes out to you.

angel babies - That poem is beautiful and so true.

Barbara

Just checking in to see how your going. My thoughts are with you

Hi Megsie,
I have just found your post and have read it with tears in my eyes as some of the emotions that you are describing are very familiar. I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. It must have been terrible to wait so long to find out what was going on with your baby. How are you coping? Have you talked to anyone? One of my best friends came over when I felt able to face the world again, and she just let me talk and talk and talk. I also found it helpful to have some time off work and discovered that I have a very understanding boss.
These are just a couple of suggestions, but I am sure you will find your own way. Good luck.
Thinking of you,
Cx

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I am doing OK but still waiting to actually miscarry. I'm scared this is going to take a really long time, it seems impossible to move one properly until 'it' actually happens. I have read about some women waiting months! I will be seeing my Dr in a week and a half if nothing has happened and I suppose I will then consider a D&C.
How long have others waited?
I have to say that I am still shocked that I never knew a miscarriage was often such a drawn out process. I think there is a real lack of awareness.
I try to be an open person and discuss my feelings with the people around me, I think our world suffers in general from an unwillingness to communicate emotions and feelings. I like to (sometimes) open up and share with others when they are willing to listen. I have to say though, that this experience is very difficult to share. People are uncomfortable and unwilling it seems to discuss what is really a natural and VERY common experience for many women.
My moods are all over the place, my DP has been really good and has managed to shake off the worst of my rages. My kids go to their Dad's this week so at least I won't have guilt over being such a neglectful Mum for a while.
Thanks again to everyone who has read and replied. x