Could you/would you be a surrogate?

[Persephone1]

I could do it. I think one of the criteria to be a surrogate is to have finished with your own family (ie. finished having your own children or not planning on having any of your own).

I also think that most, if not all, factors to consider, could be dealt with lots of communication between the parties. Other children will understand that Mummy is having a baby for someone else if it's explained to them and their questions are answered. I don't think that part would be difficult tbh. There's a lady who wrote a book recently (I think she lives in the ACT, not sure) and she was a surrogate for someone. Her main concerns were the legal ramifications, because surrogacy law is not particularly clear-cut in each State. For example, she says that if it turned out that the baby she was carrying had a disability or genetic abnormality, and the biological parents decided they didn't want that baby anymore, the surrogate would be expected to parent the child or put it up for adoption if she didn't want to.

I think surrogacy, or egg/sperm/embryo donation is a wonderful thing, if it goes well. I expect in most cases, and where the law is clear in protecting everyone involved, it goes really well. And what a wonderful gift to give.

[Glamourcide]

It's very complicated. I think it would be a very brave thing to do, I know if I were ever to consider it, there would have to be lots of 'conditions'... like the baby would have to be made with egg and sperm of the parents, not mine or DH's... I could definitely only do it for someone that I truly cared about, I don't have any sisters but I would do it for a very close friend itms. While my girls are so young, I think it would be hard to help them understand that the baby was not going to be a sibling of theirs, that I was just 'loaning my uterus' (in a sense lol) to someone who needed it. I think for me, I'd prefer to have a sort of very open relationship after bub was born, ie be able to see the child and spend time with it in a family situation (ie get-togethers as a family, I wouldn't want to look after the child on my own itms, but be able to go and visit mum and dad and see the child) rather than have that connection for 9 months and then nothing. I would also like to do things like BF bub in the early days before the mum and dad take over, I don't know why, or whether I would want to do that if I ever *did* volunteer to be a surrogate for someone, but I feel like BFing is really important and would prefer any child to get *some* breastmilk rather than none at all :/
Very tricky situation!! But yes, I think I could do it for someone I really cared about, if they were able to accommodate my needs and feelings and agreed with my ideas on pregnancy, birth and parenting.
Egg/sperm donation, to me, is a different story, and would be a much more difficult choice for me. When my eggs are involved, that means there's really a half-sibling to my own children somewhere out there and tbh I'm not sure if I could cope with that or explain it to my kids in a way that satisfied them and myself. 'Loaning out' my blood supply and uterus, sure, could do it is the circumstances were right... putting my genetic material out there and creating a baby that is mine but someone else's would be much harder

Best of luck to your friends, I really hope that they find a way that works for them and results in them having the family they have dreamed of for so long!!