thread: Could you/would you be a surrogate?

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Central Coast NSW
    2,160

    When we were having trouble ttc, my sil and I were driving somewhere when she said, out of the blue, "you know if you can't have a baby, I'll have one for you" I was overwhelmed! Knowing how amazing it is to be a parent, if one of my brothers wives could not carry a baby I would seriously consider it for them. Using their embryo would be my preference though. I don't think I could do it for a stranger or even just a friend though.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    2,269

    I would do this for somebody I knew and cared deeply for. I actually love being pregnant but am not clucky or keen for more children at all so I think it would work out well. I can understand it would have difficulties but I really can't imagine I wouldn't be able to do this. I would much prefer it to be their egg but I think if necessary I could donate my eggs also.

    I do hope that nobody I love would need this but I would offer if ever required in a heartbeat.

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Add No.5 on Facebook

    Jan 2007
    Brisbane
    2,391

    I would be a surrogate, even for a stranger. My only concern would be that I think it would be hard not to bond with the baby, even knowing its not yours.

    Hope your friends get their miracle baby!

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    In my own private paradise
    15,272

    in theory, i would like to think i could
    in reality, i know i couldn't.

    the journey to get our DD was very hard on us all. if something went wrong, i would blame myself for that - whether it was my issues or not, i wouldn't be able to stop myself from feeling that guilt. i also had a very nasty pg MS wise. and emotionally, i'm not that strong. i know how much i bonded with my DD from the moment she implanted (yup i felt it) - there is no way i could distance myself from the little parasite that was sapping my strength.

    so yes, i theory, i would love to give that gift to someone that i love. but in reality, i know it's just not physically or emotionally something i could do.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    Sydney NSW
    4,837

    For me, I couldn't because of my own children and trying to explain to them and also because I am a school teacher I would then have to explain it to them and the school community. I think it would take more strength than I have in me sadly. I am also very very clucky and regardless of biology I would have trouble not bonding with the baby too.
    Maybe if I had a sister I would feel differently.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    Sydney NSW
    4,837

    For me, I couldn't because of my own children and trying to explain to them and also because I am a school teacher I would then have to explain it to them and the school community. I think it would take more strength than I have in me sadly. I am also very very clucky and regardless of biology I would have trouble not bonding with the baby too.
    Maybe if I had a sister I would feel differently.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Aug 2010
    Albs, WA
    971

    I would be a surrogate, even for a stranger. My only concern would be that I think it would be hard not to bond with the baby, even knowing its not yours.

    Hope your friends get their miracle baby!
    Me too! Id do it in a second, if I were a 'high risk' mummy.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    1,572

    I've been thinking about this lately as well. I would like to be able to help someone, but it would only be close friends or family. I also would like to know the baby growing up and offer BF or EBM to make sure it receives the benefit. I would hope the mum I was doing it for would try to start lactating so she could take over the BF duties, it would help with the bonding I think.

    As others have said, checking out the laws and having a lawyer right up the agreement would be the best way to do it.