I can answer this as an adoptee (whose birth mother and family came and found me 18 years ago when I was 18) and also something who is on that long list to adopt a child to welcome to our family as well.
"What is life like with an adopted child/children? We'll most probably miss out on their years from 0 - 2, so the chances are we'll get a toddler or even older ( I guess up too about 10 years old)."
Depending on whether you choose 'local' adoption or international adoption (and in the case of the latter - also depending on which country you most fill the bill with) you wont know what age child you get until you get closer to that time of allocation. Life with an adopted child I am sure (if you asked my folks) can be more challenging than raising a bio child) simply because there are all of those extra layers of emotional stuff hanging about as well in most cases re the WHY's! - but also incredibly fulfilling and JUST like having a bio child on other levels. That child is your child to love and cherish - and the bloodline can then become irrevelant in some ways as they grow to be a part of your family as though they have always been there. Why dont you put your name down on the list for information sessions for the different types of adoption and go from there? Permanant care may even suit your family?
"How does that affect the realtionship between parent and child? Can it be as rewarding as having your own flesh and blood? Is the love between parent and child unconditional?"
I think that it is incredibly rewarding for most families -and just as much as having your own flesh and blood. I think that all love between all parents and children should be unconditional - taking who birthed them out of the picture.
Blondeangel is SO right. It is about the child and the child's needs first and foremost - not about only creating a space in your family to fill with an adopted child.
If you pursue this - good luck! There are many children all around our country and the world who need loving families, and I hope that if you take this path, once you have weaved the myriad of red tape and paperwork - you become a family.
I know how you feel. My DH and i had 13 years of that kind of pain. but we knew we had to stop eventually and look at why we wanted a child so much.
In the end we basically just wanted to parents. Biology wasn't the driving factor. So we started the process for adoption and we have been successful in being placed locally.
I can't put into the words they joy we have everyday and every minute we spent with her.
Want some people say is true, you do have take more into account emotionally. But you also have to look at whats happening TODAY in adoption because in some states its conducted differently that it was 30yrs ago and even 20 years ago.
For starters there is open contact from the time your child is placed. In some cases there is face to face. (More so in local adoptions.)
If you strongly feel you can be a good adoptive parent then even the worst cases won't deter you from it.
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