NSW & VIc are different, their Permanent Care sounds more like long term fostering. But I am surprised at the restrictions placed on them when the little one is placed in their care permanently. Especially your BIL not being able to bath him......that breaks my heart. One of the hardest parts of going through this process (after you have accepted you will not have a baby of your own) is to be viewed as someone who will hurt a child........and to them have that continue after you have been assessed and approved......hard stuff.
It took us about 3 months to be assessed and approved as foster parents, this process we are going through now is different. It's a longer & more intense process. But at the end of it, we will be a mum & dad (and called that if that is what the child wants). I will add a link in here that explains all kinds of questions about Permanent Care for anyone that is interested (hope it is okay to post the link, I haven't been on here lately so I am not up with the rules!):
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