We fostered for a while before having Sammy and Ruby. Our girls at the time were 10, 8 and 51/2. We provided respite care so the longest children stayed with us was for 6 weeks at a time. We specified that we did not want to have children older than our oldest but were asked to anyway. We were very firm in what we thought would be suitable for our family.
Despite my mum being a Social Worker in Child Protection, we were not prepared for the practicalities of looking after some of these children with quite severe issues. In once instance, my then 8 year old became a target for hostility from a child staying with us as it seemed to be setting up a pattern she had had in her home environment.
We had some lovely little boys stay with us. Although only having one spare room with two beds set up we were asked to have three boys several times for respite holidays whilst the parents were working through some issues, so they can stretch things quite a lot too to accommodate the needs at the time.
Looking back I do have a fondness for all of the children and know the outcome of several of them and am happy they are going ok, but I could not do it again with young children in the house. I was not prepared for some of the issues that arose from staying in our home with regard to children comparing their own way of life to ours. Our children want for nothing, and have many toys a beautiful house, and the love and commitment of two very dedicated parents. Our hope was to share this with other children in need, but in some instances it seemed to amplify some of the children's own feelings of unworthiness and feeling unloved...as in ''why dont i have this'' rather than providing a safe haven like we had hoped.
I can understand why there are so many older people who foster. We were by far the youngest at the time in our area, except for another couple unable to have children who had children placed with them permanently.
I would LOVE to look into fostering, although not sure how they look apon (sp?) younger people doing so? I just feel like i have so much love to give! Sorry for hijacking; i will definately be lurking!
I would suggest finding some fostering agencies and booking in for information sessions for prospective carers, as I don't think they will gloss over the realities of fostering and it can give you a better sense of it may be something for you and your family. There are so many children in need, and so few families to help them. I think, and I haven't fostered, you need to have a strong and communicative relationship with your parter and be prepared for challenges and new experiences. That said, IMO all children deserve the right to have a safe and loving home environment, so I commend anyone that can provide that for a child in need.
yep , foster care can be challenging but our family wouldn't stop for all the tea in China.
In fact, my children (12,12,12,13,15,17)got very upset when i mooted the idea of a short break.
then yesterday we got asked to mind the CUTEST prem baby. very happy. yes we know we'll most probably have to give her back....but boy, is she going to be loved NOW
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