Tell me everything you know about ODD and ADD. Does anyone here have a child who suffers with this? We're at our wits ends. We've tried every conceivable solution and nothing works. Nothing. We can't cope anymore.

DS1 has always been a high maintenance/intense child. But it's just getting worse. His kindy had me sign a form to request a support worker who can just focus on him and him only as he's so difficult to manage. I feel terrible dropping him off and unleashing his fury on the teachers but I couldn't cope without those three days of semi-peace (just DS2 and I). His support teacher has suggested I have him assessed for autism. He's not autistic. I think she's projecting her own experience with her 9y.o daughter onto him, as he doesn't show many of the classic signs, and the ones you could put down to that..... well, they can also be very normal for a child of his nature.

I took him to the GP this afternoon and requested a referral to see a paed, to have him properly assessed for a mood/behaviour disorder, or mental illness. My 3 year old. I feel like I could just curl up in a ball and die right now. DP is struggling terribly. He can hardly look at DS1. Doesn't want to play, has no patience. He pretty much feels like I do. I don't know where I find the strength to carry on and continue to parent. I just do I suppose.

The doctor suggested Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I'd toyed with this idea myself. The thing that bothers me, is that this diagnosis seems pretty useless. I know he's defiant. BUT WHY? What is causing this? What can I do to help him myself?

I'm considering melatonin to help him sleep. Anyone who's familiar with my parenting adventures so far knows all too well how poor DS1's sleep is. It's been that way since birth. I am going INSANE. I'm depressed and just completely over it. The paed will most likely recommend medication. I'm open to this. In fact, I'm welcoming of it at this point. Anything to restore order. I can't handle another day of screaming, kicking, punching, headbutting the floor, shoving his brother, yelling 'AH! AH! AH! AH!' in my face if I try to ignore his outburst..... I'm out. I'm done. I don't know what to do.

What do I do? Has anyone had experience in this area? What kind of specialists can help us?

Why us? Why my child? Just f****** why? I hate my life right now. I don't even want to admit it but that's how I feel. It's just constant punishment. I don't know why everything has to be so hard. There's no light at the end of the tunnel, it's just ongoing horrible behaviour that I can't keep at bay no matter what.

I was keeping a food diary, but that didn't help. I had a sticker reward chart, that was pointless. I've been calm. I've yelled. I've smacked. I've put him in his room for 5-10 minutes so I could scream into a pillow. I've talked to him about his behaviour. I've explained how upset it makes us all. I've showed him the consequences of bad behaviour by taking toys/other valuable experiences/treats away from him. Early bedtime. Late bedtime. No bedtime. Sleeping in our bed, in a bed next to ours, in his own bed in his room, in his own room with his baby brother.

I just want to run away, but at the same time I can't bear the thought of being away from my kids. And the guilt I feel for the stronger bond I have with DS2 is killing me.

Somebody please tell me I'm not alone in this.