I have lived your life and it sucks. I know what it is like to have the high maintenance child who won't sleep at night and tantrums for hours every single day. Then there was a new baby thrown in the mix and that one didn't sleep during the day and my nights were spent alternating between the two of them with very little time for my own sleep. It was a living hell and I am just realising the extent of the fallout of it all. There is no way you can function as an effective parent when you are so desperate for sleep and the kids are so hard to deal with during the day and you are doing it all alone day after day, night after night with no time out.

I have also been doing a lot of reading on the effects of poor sleep on children and (surprise, surprise) children that sleep better have more easygoing natures while the children that don't sleep have emotional and cognitive effects and more behavioural issues. That doesn't seem like rocket science but there is very little in the way of research into the effects of insufficient sleep in infants and the follow through effects. I am sure you know that if only the sleep could improve that everything else might follow on - if he wasn't as tired his behaviour might be better, if you weren't so tired you might have some patience to deal with it calmly and consistently. Not saying there isn't something else going on, because there probably is, just that lack of sleep doesn't help anything at all. I have heard good things about tart cherry juice although I haven't tried it myself.

I am always around if you want to talk, even if you just need to vent to someone who has been there (and come out the other side - it will get better xx).