Thought I might see you in here meow Gaps is awsome and there is alot of proof. Looks daunting but you ease into it- not the kind of thing you just start 1 day, you work into it. Working our family into it now.
I have ADHD, my mum is stil in denial and when we move home I will be seeking OT to help re-train some thinking and work out a few kinks. As a child with a mother who was told to do something but treated me as normal (i was just a naughty child in her eyes) it was so hard. Not understanding why I was so "naughty" or how I could stop it and the school work just got harder and harder to understand.- So I say thank you, from your daughter or starting to do something to help her.
If you are going to medicate- I would also say now is the best time to do it- meds often need tweaking and ritalin is as good a place to start as any the other I would hold off on.
But do look into helping her diet as much as you can- Gaps, gluten free, additive free and color free as much as possible.
I know its hard to live with somebody so out control, but its not easy being that way either.
If you can get her and talk to her face to face to tell her to stop doing something- and suggest something else, or ask her to help you with making dinner/ dishes etc. If you can re-direct the energy everybody can win- its not always possible but re-direction is a big help once you get the hang of it. perhaps there are some tasks that would also help her sensory issues?
its really hard. I hope you can find some other mums in your situation to chat to- so you know your not alone and she isnt either