My foster boy was 4 when he was diagnosed and sounded very familiar to your DD we tried every alternative to medication first in the end safety one and we agreed to trial meds, he was a different, rational, and safe child he was still very active and he still had periods of craziness but overall he was able to focus and follow instructions about 2 months in he told me he liked the new him better as he could now make friends and listen. Good luck with whatever decision you choose.