Oh ladies reading your posts is so helpful. You're all saying what i'm feeling. I am SO scared about the future for Ethan, especially what school will be like. He too has a hair trigger temper (i call him my little fire cracker ) and is SO protective of his toys. At the moment i'm really struggling with his not sharing. His poor little brother just wants to play with him but as soon as he gets to close to Ethan's toys WHAM he pushes him or hits him straight in the face. Its nearly impossible to do activities with both of them. Even simple things like painting or play do turns into a fight. I feel like i either need to keep them at seperate ends of the house or buy two of everything! I would really like to give Ethan some more one on one time, i'm looking into starting some sensory activities for him but i'm really struggling to find activities that both boys can do without the screaming and hitting... any ideas?
Tan- YAY for finding an awsome teacher!! thats so great.
I've been thinking of putting Ethan in day care 1/2 day a week just to expose him to other kids and also to be honest i would like some one on one time with his little brother. But i'm scared. I just don't know how he'll cope. He's so anxious and gets overwhelmed easily. I'm worried he'll go balistic if someone touches his toys or he doesn't like an activity etc etc. The centre alrteady has one little boy there who has asd so i know the staff are familiar with it which is great.... i don't know. How on earth do you let go ladies? The thought of putting Ethan in someone elses care terrifies me..will they know his quirks?, what he wants? how to settle him???
Anyway Ethan has his blood test in the morning EEEEEP!!! i am dreading it. Hubby is buying some of those ELMA patches today, i'm hoping they will numb his little arms so the experience isn't AS traumatic poor little guy....anyone else used these?
lestyrox, I hope he did okay for those blood tests. I now go into those sorts of tests holding my breath, and then exhaling when she gets her ice block at the end.... its just something to endure...
Well... I'm taking sometime to write down whats going on here now.
Yesterday I phoned DH prior to our "hand over". I work Monday late shifts and start at 5pm, so I don't see DH on Monday's at all. I phoned him on my way to work and he asked about Matilda. I stopped and said "You know what? She's been amazing today. We had one moment of hyper arousal when her MP3 player arrived and she settled really quickly after that." I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth.
Then this morning, as we were getting ready for school and dropped off Jovie and Matilda, I thought... OMG she is being a fricken angel!!! She is soooo goood. I've never had her be this well behaved little angel before. So I dropped her at school and told her how proud I was and how happy it made me that she was being so good.
Then DH & I had an appointment with an RDI counsellor. Its someone who does behaviour help for children on the with our sorts of issues (ranging from brain trauma to sensory issues). Anyway, I said to DH that she was amazing, we got there and the counsellor said "Wow... I went through your paperwork last night, and I'm amazed. Matilda is almost the most severe case of sensory issues that she has ever dealt with I asked her "um, are you happy to work with us?" and she said "Yes, I would love to work with you and see the progress you have made in the past year". She was extremely encouraging and was all about natural and instinctive parenting for children with our issues. She said "You know these children refuse to read the book, even more so... they will be the reason you write one"
So, I left encouraged. Got home and MIL dropped the girls off after school/day care as I only got home at 3pm and once again, Matilda's behaviour has been amazing all afternoon, dinner, bath , bed! I'm just astounded. We haven't ever gone 1 week before without a massive meltdown, and you know what? We have gone 3 weeks now and her behaviour just continues to improve. Her OT has said that she is almost able to completely self regulate her emotions now . In June/July last year, Matilda was still screaming 3 hours a day and escaping and running and we would have to physically restrain her.... and now we've gone 3 weeks without anything other than a "normal" tantrum???? WT?
Now... after all that excitement on her progress, I will talk about the things she has picked up in the meantime to regulate herself that aren't "socially" acceptable. Last week Matilda started sucking her thumb. For the first time. She has been biting her nails for over a year now, but now she bites them until they bleed. She is obsessively picking her nose. If there is the slightest niggle in there, up goes her fingers.... She is also flapping more, and doing other "autistic" things like rocking etc, will not come out of her room when we have visitors etc etc etc... but you know what? That helps me feel better about a diagnosis. It helps me feel better that I know that she has issues, and its okay to accept them. I can deal with those flapping, and thumb sucking, and nail biting things when I don't have to deal with 3 hours of screaming and physical restraint. Its much easier to handle. I dare someone to say something to me about it .
Wow Christy, I am so, so, so pleased to hear how great the improvement has been with Matilda. That is really awesome news. I really can't imagine how it must feel to have not had that stress of a meltdown for 3 whole weeks. You must feel like a new woman!
I know that you will continue to have challenges, but I'm glad that at least you are getting a break. And I know that you will continue to handle things with love, strength and courage as you always have
YAY for Matilda! Everything you have been doing has helped her get to this point so HUGE YAY for you and DH
Mitch is on and off at school, but getting used to the routine a little better. He needs help focussing, and with his anger still.
Love his teacher - she told me on Friday that if by Tuesday he can keep up the good work concentrating he gets to sit on one of the ponies (preps don't ride till later in the year). She will take a photo and blow it up to make a puzzle. Each day/week he holds his focus and holds back the aggression he will get a puzzle piece. When the puzzle is complete he can have a ride with his older buddy leading the pony. This teacher really gets my boy
We have been talking each day when I pick him up, she has contacted his kinder teacher and invited her to the school for a chat (kinder teacher is very interested in the way they teach there).
He has gotten to know the other teachers there rather quickly , and despite his Mitchness (!) they just seem to adore him - one loves talking to him and was very proud when he apologised to another child for hitting without being asked. Feels so good!
That's awesome news Christy and Lulu!
Christy I envy you so much the no meltdowns, we seem to have one after preschool each time and sadly its in the school playground in front of parents of my class. I have been in tears afterwards cause i don't want people to think I am an incompetent teacher because I can't even "control" my own child. DH is now trying to pick him up and take him straight home rather than another mum bring him over to the playground to meet me when the bell goes (the preschool is in the school grounds but finishes 20 minutes before school does)
My SN boy in my class is going really really well in class but not coping with the playground very well, because other kids annoyed him in the 1st week he has become known as the "fighting boy" which has upset his mum a lot. I feel like I am pushing s#it uphill to get help for the playground cause the boss doesn't care so I am trying to sort out everything all the time.
hi ladies i have to post today as i am fighting back tears and feel like running to school and picking Hamish up.
He had two incidents on the playground this morning, the first was just an accident another boy ran into him and he hurt his lip but we had lots of tears and cuddles. Then he went back to play and was happy again. The bell went and i walked over to his classroom and was looking for him , he wasn't there, when i turned around there was my little man with the teacher in tears.He hadn't heard the bell as he was busy playing , when he turned around the playground was empty and he was in tears, he was crying so much and had worked himself right up, it took a good 10 minutes to calm him down. The teacher asked him what was wrong and he broke down again.
He eventually told me he was scared he was lost, we thought he was upset about the fact he may get into trouble (he didnt)
One night he saw the add on telly for smoking where the little boy gets left by his Mum and since then we have had nightmares and numerous breakdowns over my leaving him..
I left him at school today after he stopped crying and we had explained he was safe but my heart is breaking
) and is SO protective of his toys. At the moment i'm really struggling with his not sharing. His poor little brother just wants to play with him but as soon as he gets to close to Ethan's toys WHAM he pushes him or hits him straight in the face. Its nearly impossible to do activities with both of them. Even simple things like painting or play do turns into a fight. I feel like i either need to keep them at seperate ends of the house or buy two of everything! I would really like to give Ethan some more one on one time, i'm looking into starting some sensory activities for him but i'm really struggling to find activities that both boys can do without the screaming and hitting... any ideas?
. In June/July last year, Matilda was still screaming 3 hours a day and escaping and running and we would have to physically restrain her.... and now we've gone 3 weeks without anything other than a "normal" tantrum???? WT?
.
, and despite his Mitchness (!) they just seem to adore him - one loves talking to him and was very proud when he apologised to another child for hitting without being asked. Feels so good!
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