BP, it is so hard and confusing to understand wtf is going on in their heads sometimes (or more than sometimes ). Please try to get the book Christy recommended and I have one that helped me feel alot better...in fact quite proud that my son is "wired differently" as I call it.
This book is called "Not even wrong", I got it from the library and I highly recommend it. With libraries these days - or at least the ones here - if you have a membership you can search for the books you want, reserve them or even order them from libraries in other areas, all online

The one thing I have in my favour is the fact I am a fair bit in sync with my son.....because all my "sensitivities", the things I have resented about myself for a long time, have probably come to him from me . My head explodes if I get too much information, but at the same time I crave it. I am super sensitive orally and aurally. So if he was wigging out with the outside noise, I was a bit too.

Just remember you are not alone here xoxoxo