And just an add-on - lilima - please don't feel judged as a parent. You do the best for J each and every day - his condition is not your fault. And you have the right to have your own anxiety and stress - you're doing the best you can to deal with it, but you're human honey - and sometimes all of the stress and emotion just spills over a bit. Big though - it's hard to see the forest for the trees some days and it gets so overwhelming. I've been having a few of those days myself lately and it's hard not to doubt yourself, but remember, you are doing a fantastic and very difficult job.
BR - we have the opposite - dinner's fine, getting DS to eat lunch is always an issue. We've got to a point where we don't bother with a 'formal' lunch, we just put food under his nose (literally) throughout the day and see what gets eaten. Dinner though, he will happily eat a huge bowl of whatever we put into his mouth, followed by a huge bowl of fruit, as long as he has TV to distract himself with. Without TV, he won't touch even his favourite foods. And most nights, we have to feed it to him. I know it's probably a bit of a no-no, but seeing he's all ribs, I'd rather he eats a decent meal than make a fuss over how he eats it. Breakfast, on the other hand, he will eat himself - sitting down nicely at his table, and eating it all by himself. I suspect that by dinner time, he's just tired and it's all a bit difficult for him.
We just got another assessment back. It says DS has a global developmental delay. I am pretty shattered as they just sent it in the post. He has just turned 4 and in most areas he is scoring on what a child just shy of 3 should be doing, They never even completed the whole test, as DS started palying up a bit. He scored 12 for the Autism scale, that has a threashold of 17, meaning that he has low autistic behaviours. With the developmental behaviour checklist, he scored 31, which they consider within normal for his age, but shows that he does have some behaviour problems.
A lot of the stuff that he scored low for was because he refused to do it................... I am feeling terrible and have cried non stop for the last 24 hours. Every time I look at him I cry. I feel sick, lost and alone. I have called the assessor, but she was not there so sent an email. How can they just send something like that in the post without explaining it?! I don't even know what the long-term plan is. They never explained.
Suse - My DS went in for gromits etc at the age of two, he became really aggressive when he came out of the anesthetic, but this could have been due to a reaction to it.
Lilima- big hugs, I hope you can get some answers xxx
Yesterday saw big dramas in our house, while Hamish has seemed to settle in to school holidays not to badly, we meet up with friends from school at the park yesterday afternoon.
It seems two of the boys had turned on an electric bbq, they then told Hamish to touch it. Of course he did and ended up in hospital with 2nd degree burns to his hand. His screams tore my heart out, he has hypersensitivity in his hands so I can only imagine the pain he was in.
It took several doses of drugs to calm him down. His screams were ones I hope no other Mother ever has to hear.
My big problem now is worry, Will Hamish ever learn not to do what these boys tell him?
Last year they told him to kiss the toilets at school and he did, they told him to pull his pants down and he did, they told him to wee on te floor and he did. I have kept him away from the one in particular who has been caught telling him to do things by the teachers. But now this.. How do I teach him not to do what they say?
Tan that is just awful. Oh man. He's so trusting, and to have that abused. Far out that's just awful.
It's so confusing hey Lilima. DH and I sat through a 45 minute OT appt, and came out and I realised...I don't even know what OT really is...I don't know up from down with this stuff.
My Goodnes! Poor Hamish. That is absolutely terrible! Will he end up with long term scarring?
So EI lady came over, and I could tell that she looked scared to talk to me. She then began to explain the PEP III test that J completed to me. Basically it is a clinical test that has to be done within 1.5 hours regardless of if the child can sit through it or not. Then you get a age in months for each area at the end. J's all were quite low, and well under his age, which upset me no end. Not that it was the result, but that it was so insensitive to just put it in the post.
Well it turns out that you lose 6 months off your age for each task you fail - J flat out refused to do a lot of the assessment even though it is stuff that he can do, so it was a fail. For example he lost 12 months off Gross motor as he has not shown preference for left or right hand and he wouldn't swing a ball around for her.
I am not saying that he isn't lagging in some areas's but he is def as not far behind as the test indicates. He has behaviour/anxiety probs, so of course he was never going to complete the tasks set in a clinical setting. Although in regard to the behaviour scale, he actually sits on the Lower side of normal. So there is work that needs to be done, but he is going better than first thought. He is also not on the spectrum, so again I feel funny posting in here, but I think with his behaviour/anxiety issues, if you guys don't mind I would love to be able to keep posting.
It was also clear that he prefers to learn through technology such as computers and ipad's etc. EI is going to put in an application to try and get him an ipod touch. They have said that he may be eligiable for an aid at kindy next year as he has defecits in 2 areas (behaviour and speech) so although technically I doesn't really need one, they may be able to get one which would be great as he would get that extra attention. I now have an interview with the kindy on the 14th as well as a different worker from EI so that will be good.
I have decided I am not going to put in a formal complaint, because I have to keep working with these people and I want it to be as postive as possible.
On a +++ note - we went to a 4th birthday party today, as he was awesome. So well behaved. Not one incident.
though - it's hard to see the forest for the trees some days and it gets so overwhelming. I've been having a few of those days myself lately and it's hard not to doubt yourself, but remember, you are doing a fantastic and very difficult job.
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