Autism network/help in NSW or VIC ....

[~Raven~]

Tell her to go back to the specialist (mine gave me a contact for our local support group) or health nurse and ask for the contact for some local support groups. Like Christy said ASPECT is a great help too.

Hearing third hand info isn't a good thing in many cases and I'd say so especially in this case. I commend you for trying to help but please tread carefully.

For the benefit of Grandma (and please show her this post as it might help her to understand a few things):
Did she mention where he is on the Autism spectrum or his CARS rating? From what you've said he'd be classed as high functioning which means he can talk and do a lot of things for himself so that is a great thing!
A diagnosis isn't all gloom and doom either. It is an opportunity for him to get the help he might need in the future.

My son has high functioning Aspergers which is on the edge of the Autism Spectrum. My MIL (and my parents to an extent) strugged to accept our DS's diagnosis and said very similar things. A lot of "yeah but he does this's" which drive me bonkers.

How does he react in a formal education situation and how does he interacts with other kids? He may go to the same toys or do the same routine at kinder every single time and have a melt down if the teacher changes the room. Quite often at pickup DS would be hiding under a table because they tried to get him to do something different. Kinder photos were a nightmare.
The specialist takes a lot into account of what is said by his kindy teachers and what they observe.

What quirks does he have? Eye rolling, finger flicking, routines, accents when he talks, food texture or colour preferences etc, anxiety, toileting, touching people, no sense of boundaries, no sense of appropriate conversation...
A second opinion is a good idea if they can face through the testing again. It is very stressful though and I understand why they are reluctant. When he starts school and if they apply for funding for him for a learning support person (or aide) then there is more testing. This will really show if the original diagnosis was right. It's not one thing but the sum of many that leads to a diagnosis on the spectrum. What is dominant as a 4yo may change to something else as a 6yo. It doesn't mean the original diagnosis was wrong but the child may have matured or learned how manage his urges if that makes sense.

Just recently I took my son to a specialist for a physical ailment that might require surgery in the future, and when I told him he has Aspergers he said he could tell as soon as he spoke and had in fact already written it down in his notes. I've had a bonus 3rd opinion lol.


Maybe she needs some time to absorb it herself before charging headfirst into what she needs to do for her son. I know I did! Give her space and tell the rellos to back off a bit.

ETA this is a bit of a ramble isn't it. Guess it touched a nerve