could it be autism or a delay

[oscar]

My son (21m) is such a bully. not so much at home, but when we are out socializing, or in other words trying to. he still isn?t that fussed about playing with others. he is so shy. so so shy? I am getting quite concerned

If he does ever do it at home, we go made, and then he will throw a tantrum

But at day care where he goes twice a week, we have been told by his carers that he is pushing around the smaller ones etc

I have seen him at mums group, pusha child in the back. and its terrible.

Why do they act like this, is it frustration what. my Dh and I would never act like this,and are quite calm.

Is it a sign of something wrong with him, like a behaviour problem

He does speak, but only words , has about 20 inhis vocab. he loves to throw tantys if he doesn?t get his way., but really I am beginning to think he is a naughty boy. Also at playgroup he can be very insocialbale and just hang around me,. which sometimes I am happy about, as I have to watch that he isn?t in the back of someone..

Anyone else have a bully as a 21mnth old. hope so!!! like I said I am worried it may get worse

I am beginning to think of autism.. My MCHN has told me in the past that he is meeting all his milestones, and all is ok. and he is going along how he shoud, but these are the things what concern me about the possiblily of some sort of delay

-20 words appr. just says them oocasionally, can respond to all other commands, within reason though
-flaps him arms when excited
-very unsocial, takes a while for him to warm to others before playing
-rough playing
-unsociable
-tantrums if doesn?t get his own way

Would love to hear from others who at 20/21mnths they were concerned that their child may have some sort of delay. should I be concerned

[Phteven]

Hi Oscar, maybe the best thing to do would be to ask your GP for a refferal to a paediatrician. If it is normal behaviour they can set your mind at rest and give you strategies to sort out the pushing etc. If there is an underlying issue early intervention is very important.

[*noni*e*]

does he show affection to the people he is close to easily?
in what situation does he push other children? just randomly?
do you think he has trouble processing what you are saying? understands sentances with a few words with perhaps a double comand in there? ie get your shoes and put them near the door its another common thing in autistic kids to kinda get stuck on the first bit and not be able to process a two step command all in one if that makes sence?
ive worked with a boy with autism and if you are at all worried it wouldnt hurt to talk to your gp. if he is meeting all his mile stones and is showing affection to those he knows easily i wouldnt be too worried about autism.. some kids are just better at socialising than others, you might find he is pushing or bullying because hes frustrated and cant express himself due to his small vocab?

[Trillian]

Firstly, a lot of what you describe can be put down to normal toddler behaviour - the speech, the tantrums etc. My 3rd child didn't even have that many words at that age and if you ask mums of other children the same age as your son, you will find that there will be kids on par with him, kids that are speaking sentences and then there will be kids that have even less words. So it is a department that can vary a lot from one child to another.

Here is a list of Signs/Symptoms from the WebMD website;

• • Extreme difficulty in learning language.
  • Inappropriate response to people. A child with autism may avoid eye contact, resist being picked up or cuddled, and seem to tune out the world.
  • Inability or reduced ability to play cooperatively with other children or to make friends.
  • Inability to understand other people's feelings.
  • Need for a rigid, highly structured routine -- and being very distressed by changes in routines.
  • Extreme hyperactivity or unusual passivity, and extreme resistance to change.
  • Repetitive body movements including pacing, hand flicking, twisting, spinning, rocking or hitting oneself.
  • Insensitivity to pain or lack of response to cold or heat.
  • Impulsive behavior and no real fear of dangers.
  • An unusual attachment to inanimate objects such as toys, strings or spinning objects.
  • Frequent crying and tantrums for no apparent reason.
  • Peculiar speech patterns. An autistic child may use words without understanding their meanings.
  • Abnormal responses to sensations such as light, sound and touch. At times an autistic child may appear deaf. At other times the child may be extremely distressed by everyday noises.
  • Some of these symptoms occur in children with other disabilities. Symptoms can change as the child grows older.

  
  Call Your Doctor If:
  
  

  • Your infant or child resists cuddling and doesn't respond to his or her environment or to other people.
  • By about the age of 1 year, your child is not pointing to objects, bringing items to you or engaging in simple interactions such as "peek-a-boo."
  • By the age of 18 months your child is not using any words or attempting to communicate.
  • Your child bangs his or her head or demonstrates self-injurious behavior or aggression on a regular basis.
  • Your child demonstrates unusually repetitive behavior, such as repeatedly opening and closing doors or turning a toy car upside down and repeatedly spinning its wheels.

Another one I would add to that list is a lack of empathy for others. Our friends 7yo DS has Autism and he just can't respond to the way others are feeling in an appropriate manner. If he sees someone fall and hurt themselves etc, he is in hysterics laughing at them.

But, even if you think your little boy is showing some of those tendencies I've listed, it doens't mean that he has Autism, but you shouldn't discount them either. I would do as Dachlostar suggested and see your GP for a referral to a Paed and take it from there. If it proves to be nothing more than behavioural issues, there are several paths you can take to help him be less agressive towards others etc.

[Phteven]

For what it's worth there are many wonderful children and adults who are on the autism spectrum. Some children with aspergers and autism are very high achievers and/or loving and affectionate with those who are close to them. With the right help these children can learn the appropriate skills to socialise with others.

[oscar]

Hi Noni

Answers to your question, thanks for your help-
does he show affection to the people he is close to easily? yes, constantly kissing

in what situation does he push other children? just randomly? ithink just random
Amazes me what he can understand etc. understands a lot


definitely shows affection, and knows many body parts etc..