I can't write much now, a friend is over, but my daughter has selective mutism, it was diagnosed when she was 3 and it's like she's been that way since birth. She was very high need/clingy/maintainance. It is an anxiety and it is very hard to deal with it as a parent. There is a book called 'Nurturing the Shy Child,' which is apparently a great book. I have bought it but not read it, as I read other books specific to selective mutism, but all were recommendations from the selective mutism org website. I definitely recommend finding a GOOD clinical child psych to help you through. Its good for you as well as the child.
I wrote an article about SM and my journey - which was very tough. My mother thinks I caused her SM. It hurt at the time but I know better and my psychologist reassured me too. My son doesn't have it and I parented him the same way. We all have a tendency to have certain traits and characteristics, anxiety is one of them and runs through my family.... my grandmother, me, and I think more than they realise...
Selective Mutism: When There's More To It Than 'Being Shy'
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