Hmm...my first response would be to get rid of the 3-way tap, as they are not designed for ng tube use and I can't think of any reason to want to flush with water without disconnecting? In fact, if you are using a silastic tube, investigate different brands, as the ones I am used to already have a two-way port at the end, one for feeds, and the other for medications/flushing.

Wriggly toddlers and tubes are always a difficult combination. Would he handle bolus feeds, as opposed to continuous feeding? You could try him with a bolus at night, then, say, six hours of feeds, and another bolus in the early hours, thus reduciong the number of hours he is connected, although I don't know if that would realistically reduce your workload, and bolus feeds can be difficult tmo tolerate at night and reduce normal appetite during the day.

But try taping the tube, it should definitely reduce disonnections.