some days i blame myself for murray beeing autistic others i think it was going to happen cannot blame myself
i didnt find out i was pregnat till 11weeks in that time i ate normaly and partied normaly beeing 18teen
when i did find out i was pregnat i ate to the guidlines ect i had low lying placenta and o neg blood type
when he was born he had a great apgar 10 at first then a 9
he was unsettled from the start he used to scream all the time he was a colicy kid too
he reached his milestones slowly he smiled but never at you he allways seem to be in his own world
i noticed things were not right just before his 1st birthday and things went down hill from there behaviour ect he dosent talk he might say mum but its more a mmmmmmm sound he allso calls me mem
hes a bolter allways running away from me and home
at 13 mnths i put him in daycare the girls there asked me if he was developmentaly deleyd i was so offened i never took him back but i knew deep down somthing wasnt right
december 2008 i set the ball in motion i took him to my gp on a bad day and asked him if he thought somthing was wrong finaly got a pead appoitment
the pead saw him for an hour and diagnosed autisim mind u i had to wait till may for an appoitment
in june he started speach path and its helped so much he starts ot next month and im hoping to get this last assment before xmas
we have a strict routine he wakes at 7am has breakfast we struggle through a shower he gets dressed on mondays has daycare and wensdays otherwise he plays playdough or cars morning tea then he helps with chores ( most of the time takes hours as i end up chasing him all the time ) then lunch then a nap then its play time dinner time bath time and bed at 7pm
when he misses somthing in the routine all hell breaks loose he stands still hands on head and hammers his head into walls or screams for up to 3 hrs
my manrtera is " what dosent kill me now makes me stronger "
ill add to this thread as i go on right now im trying to go over the notes ive written myself lol handwrittings worse then his drs
tonite he went to sleep before i could get him to eat dinner or have a bath and cause hes been sleepy all day refusing a nap i thought what the hell let him sleep its going to be hell tomrow but thats the price i pay for 8 hrs sleep lol
ohh hun you are an amazing and verry strong women dont ever blame yourself your doing such a great job your little boy murray is very lucky to have such an amazing mummy xx
i spose we all beat ourselves up are we great parents i know ive spent some nights after hes gone to bed just an utter mess crying to my partner when we go to bed and he says he hates it when im lke that cause theres nothing he can do but let me cry as its sort of my way of releasing all the frustration of the day
atm im having a hard time in public i take him to the shops and i cant relax on high alert is he touching stuff is he going to behave is he going to spitt at ppl today can i get past the yogurt isle without a mess
we allso live on a 11 acre property i have dead bolts on the outside of all my doors sounds extreme but murray can escape and be down our 2 km drive way in less then a minute
murray
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Good mantra...hang in there must be sooo hard I can't even imagine
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