Hi everyone,

I have a 6 year old with technically aspergers, but he isn't a classic aspy and is has traits from all over the autism spectrum. We got his diagnosis when he was a few months off 5, but for most of his 4th year had been trying to get a diagnosis. He had back then (haven't bothered to re-do the test with the amount they cost) and auditory processing disorder, fine & gross motor delay and a sensory processing disorder, along with being on the spectrum

He started speech when he was around 3.5yrs (weekly), OT around 4 (weekly, then fortnightly), and regular psychology sessions around 5.5yrs. We have repeated him in prep this year, as last year was a total disaster.

When we were first testing him, as I knew he was quirky and not normal from around 1.5 yrs old, then did a WIPSY (?sp), and they told me he couldn't have ADD/ADHD as his ability to concentrate on tasks that interested him was too great (up to around 40 mins at a time even when he was 3-4). If he doesn't want to do it, or isn't interested, you might as well rip your fingernails out as that will be less painful then trying to battle with him. He is getting better as he gets older, but in some ways harder as we face to more rigid education system. He was also shown to have an IQ rather high above normal.

He is making great gains in therapy, compared to the child before (which is hard to do as it is hard to know how much to attributable to therapy and how much to natural maturation), and OT has been incredible with learning how and why is is so strong and sensory seeking. As typical with kids on the spectrum, his attention and concentration is all over the place, one day her can know the alphabet no problems, next day only remember 2 letters. Gets very frustrating for everyone involved. The last 2 - 3 months have been really hard. His behaviour is off the wall, and I don't know what it is from. We normally have bad behaviour for around 2 weeks when he is going through a growth spurt or a developmental solidification etc, but this is too long.

The straw came today when even my OT turned to me and said that she thinks we should go back to the paed and have the medication talk. She is no pro-medication at all, and is a big believer in therapy, but even she said we are giving it everything financially and mentally, and we are barely containing him, and he isn't able to concentrate enough to actually get better or move forward in his learning etc.

This was the one thing (and my own hang up I openly admit!) I wanted to avoid, I didn't want to medicate my child unless it was a last option. He doesn't abscond as badly as he used to, but still runs away (luckily it's only to the car etc, but when he lost the plot last year he ran in front of a car)... I feel like if I got through that without medication, how can I do it now. I don't know how to openly evaluate this with an open mind, looking at his needs and whether he does need it, what the pro's and cons are etc, but I owe it to my son to try and get over my issues and approach this from the most logical place.

It's hard to find evidence based results to make an informed decision, as every child is different and it's hard to know how much therapy was used before medication and whether therapy would have done the job etc.

So I'm turning to you guys out there, whether you went for it in the end or you chose to keep going without it, but how did the conversations go?

I must admit I'm totally shattered, I'ld say worse than when we got the diagnosis. It felt like then there was a place to go and things proactive to do about the issues I knew he had, and this feels like I've failed.

Thank you in advance, because I know none of you out there ever made your decision lightly, and sharing personal information is hard.

Yael