Oh maz, I am so happy that you're able to write all of this down. It must be so hard for you to do, but it'll be very good for you.
I have tears right now, no way I'm going back to bed now.
You've done an amazing job with your children, you should be very proud of your efforts. Not once have you given up, you take it all in, and think of how you can deal with it, and fix it.