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Thread: Friggen HATE Solids :(

  1. #1

    Default Friggen HATE Solids :(

    THis is a bit of a vent and a plea for support..

    Ok so I've been trying solids with DD for the past month and finally she's been showing interest, she grabs it eagerly and chews on it, but she still hasn't learnt how to swallow, which is really bugging me, how long does it take?

    Secondly, I really dread these little meal times with her because of the mess. I REALLY hate the mess. Even with a bib, soggy food bits end up down her top, all over her clothes, all over my lap, all over the couch and on the floor, and I can't even clean it up efficiently, coz as soon as I put her down to pick up the thousands of crumbs on my own clothes, she's already crawled into another room, smushing the food bits all through the carpet everywhere around the house.
    I know babies make a mess but seriously, how do you guys handle it? It drives me INSANE especially as it doesn't feel worthwhile seeing as she doesn't actually swallow anything anyway!!

    I know when it gets warmer it will be easier coz we can do it outside with just a singlet on, but that's ages away, my sanity will be gone.

    I also feel like I really don't have time to prepare her food and deal with all the mess, so have skipped days; is this bad? Am I supposed to diligently offer solids every single day?

    And she is so uninterested in BF these days. And her day naps have become scarce, and her night sleeps have changed from 2-3 hunger wakings to like 5 random who knows why wakings. She is also acting really hyperactive all the time. Happy hyperactive, but hyper all the same. (She is exclusively BF and the only solids I've offered are steamed broccoli, carrot, roasted parsnip, wholemeal bread from bakery, mashed avocado)

    I've got a whole lot of questions here, I'll sum it up:



    1. Am I supposed to offer solids every single day or can I skip days if I don't have the time?
    2. Does anyone else dread the mess and wish it was easier?
    3. How long does it take before she learns how to actually swallow?
    4. Any ideas why she is acting so hyper? (My diet is quite healthy, minimal additives and flavourings, no junkfood, the solids I offer her are healthy and additive free also, she is not on Farax or anything like that)
    5. Why is she always screaming at my boobs and sleeping badly?

    TIA ladies. I feel miserable

  2. #2

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    Maybe she is hungry?
    Have you tried pureed fruit?
    I did BLS with little man, but when we started, I spoon fed him until he was full and then just gave him something to suck on, cause he didnt really swallow that stuff. As he got older and learned to chew, he just naturally started feeding himself properly KWIM?
    Also, are you feeding in a high chair, or somewhere where she is immobile? I dont know that I would have let my bubs cruise around with food at that age.
    The mess sucks, get used to it LOL, it gets worse when they start walking, then they can really spread their crap around LOL

  3. #3

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    With the mess, if we're eating something that I know is going to be messy then I'll put a terry cloth nappy underneath her bib and over her legs, so whatever is spilt down her front goes straight onto the cloth and keeps her clothes clean. Then just fold up the cloth once you're done and go shake it outside. Our main problem atm is DD throwing food...she has a pretty good arm on her so it tends to fly a long way

    Try not to let it get to you...can you get a plastic drop cloth or old sheet to put under her high chair as well so any food that goes on the floor falls onto that, leaving your floor relatively clean.
    In the early couple of months of solids I found the Rafferty's Garden pouches of food really handy, especially on days when you don't have time to prepare food. They don't have any additives/preservatives and taste pretty good! Even now I still use the fruit ones to mix into yoghurt/cereal and they have smoothie (fruit & yoghurt) ones as well. I only buy them when they're on special though

    For vegies I just used to save some vegies from our dinner the night before, that way I wasn't having to prepare & cook them for before she needed them, just pop them in the microwave so they aren't so cold and off you go. freezing food in ice cube trays (like spag bol mince) was really helpful too, just pop a couple of cubes in the microwave until defrosted.

  4. #4

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    1. Am I supposed to offer solids every single day or can I skip days if I don't have the time? offer something small when you eat - if you only sit down for 10 minutes over your lunch, give her something while you prepare yours, then sit her in high chair while you eat

    2. Does anyone else dread the mess and wish it was easier? ok, you've mentioned couch, floor etc - do you have a set seat for her? a high chair? my DD made a mess, but it was contained to her, her high chair and her messy mat. we would clean her off before taking her out of the high chair, then send her in one direction while cleaning high chair and messy mat. she is now 14 months and makes minimal mess when feeding herself (except with fried rice - fried rice is just messy lol)

    3. How long does it take before she learns how to actually swallow? that depends on the kidlet. if she isn't swallowing, it's a sign that she isn't ready to swallow it yet. that's why BLS are so good - they will only eat what they want. every bit of experimentation before they swallow is helping them learn about texture, taste, temperature etc

    4. Any ideas why she is acting so hyper? (My diet is quite healthy, minimal additives and flavourings, no junkfood, the solids I offer her are healthy and additive free also, she is not on Farax or anything like that) she is hitting developmental milestones every day - she is no longer a little caterpillar that is stuck in one place - she is wanting to move and do things - and her own limitations are frustrating the bejeepers out of her! imagine wanting to move cos you know you can do it, but not being able to coordinate your bits and pieces to actually do it! add to that the fact she may be starting to teeth, wonderweeking etc - it's not unusual for bubbas to get unsettled

    5. Why is she always screaming at my boobs and sleeping badly? have you checked to see if she is in pain at all? my DD started wanting more milk around the same time - not so much for the milk, more for the comfort. again, all the developmental stuff i think. she wanted the comfort of being near me, and milk did that. i think it must be pretty damn scary to have all that developing going on! yes, it's not ideal, but it's something that i think most of us go through


    on the start of your post - where you mentioned waste and mess - i guess i don't see the food that isn't "swallowed" as waste - i see it as a way for her to learn. we have been lucky in that we can offload everthing to the dogs and not be bothered - but even the food they couldn't eat, it was just a part of her development. it wasn't like we were going to massive extra expense - she has always just eaten what we eat so it was food we would have bought anyway - we just took a little from our plates and shared with her. even now, it isn't any more exxy to feed her cos we just stretch things out a bit more

  5. #5

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    No you don't have to offer everyday. If sh'es not swallowing she's probably just not ready to yet. She'll get the hang of it quick smart once she's hungry for it.
    We had a plastic drop sheet, but yes, it's much easier in warmer months. maybe try to contain her to one set area for feeds in a high chair. Try not to stress about the messa nd cleanup too much - it can make the kids anxious about eating.
    As for BFs etc - tell us what else is going on for her right now. Is she trying to pull herself up etc? When they get theh urge to go mobile (or more mobile) they often become fussy at feed times. It's most likely a phase. Just try to let her set the pace of feeds - dont' push it if sh'es not interested.
    The night time wakings could well be due to separation anxiety, which commonly hits around this age. And could also be associated with other developmental things. Any teeth on the way? That'll upset sleep and can also make them fussy about feeding too.

    Try and relax. If it's this much stress then it's time to take a step back or think of different ways to do things.

  6. #6

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    1. Am I supposed to offer solids every single day or can I skip days if I don't have the time? You don't have to offer every day. Food at this age is more about learning and less about sustenance because milk is their primary source of nutrition.
    2. Does anyone else dread the mess and wish it was easier? Yep hate the mess but I'm kind of used to it. You can try one of those hard plastic bibs with the dish at the bottom to catch stuff or do what my friend did and put an old sheet on the floor because she had a carpeted meals area!
    3. How long does it take before she learns how to actually swallow? Not sure but if she's not swallowing then it's obviously not her time yet. My 4yo DS was 8 months before he got it so don't stress! He had not one bit of solid food AT ALL because he flatly refused to. He gagged a bit but he was pretty good by the time he was 9 months.
    4. Any ideas why she is acting so hyper? (My diet is quite healthy, minimal additives and flavourings, no junkfood, the solids I offer her are healthy and additive free also, she is not on Farax or anything like that)
    5. Why is she always screaming at my boobs and sleeping badly? OK could be many reasons but possibly teeth or a developmental leap (The Wonder Weeks book explains these brilliantly but basically when a baby is going through a stage where they are having a developmental milestone then they can get quite irritable) is she crawling/pulling herself up or trying to? They can also get crazy separation anxiety at that age too.


    LOL I wrote my answer then read Marcellus'

  7. #7

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    I have to sit her on my lap to feed, she doesn't seem as keen to eat when she's in her highchair; although I might try taking the tray off and just covering her in terry flats head to toe on and around her... thanks ss_storm!

    marcellus (And raven hehehe) she has learnt to stand with support which she absolutely loves and she just follows me all around the house and just stands near me all the time. I think you might be right about separation anxiety, now that I think about it. Perhaps some co-sleeping is in order.

    I've been reluctant to give her food that we eat coz I always feel like there's something in it that isn't suitable (eg pasta with a bottled sauce; is this OK for babies? Or meat and veg cooked with stock or soy sauce etc? Are these OK? How can you make meals without these kinds of things???)

  8. #8

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    I found reading Gill Rapley's book Baby-led Weaning (available through the ABA) really helped me relax about BLS. Rather than thinking of mealtime as time to eat, I think of it as a time for DD to learn. Her fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination have improved so much so there are benefits even if she doesn't swallow anything. Also solids don't meet their nutritional requirements for another couple of months yet.

    I have DD in her high chair with a smock bib on and a huge vinyl table cloth on the floor. I always clean her up before taking her out of the high chair. Even so, I still find the mess hard to deal with. Every time something gets dropped on the floor or smeared in her hair, I just have to take a deep breath and look at the pride in DD's face. She loves being able to feed herself.

    I also have some of the Rafferty's Garden meals in the cupboard for my more disorganised days. Meat is also a fairly non-messy option. I just cut a slice of steak twice as long as the width of her palm. She'll suck on it for ages. At this age its the juices they need more than the protein in the actual flesh.

    As for the fussiness, as others have said, there is a lot going on around 6-7 months.

    Good luck hun

  9. #9

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    I was really keen to do BLS with DS but I felt very much the same as you and really struggled with the mess of it all. To top it off for us, meal times were not enjoyable for DS either as he didn't like to touch the food. He would actually gag sometimes just touching the food. I also struggled with preparing something for him every day so I now cook once a fortnight and all of his meals are ready when we need them. This doesn't work for everyone but it has for us.
    We use a combination of spoon feeding and BLS now. I spoon feed him breakfast, then lunch is usually BLS - toast, fruit etc. Dinner, I spoon feed him his vegies and meat and then offer some fruit or a biscuit etc. We are slowly introducing more solids for him to feed himself and this staggered approach is working well for us.
    I was super stressed about it all for a while but meal times are now fun for everyone. We eat together, I just spoon feed him as I eat mine and then he has something to feed himself while I wash up etc.
    We bought an ikea highchair ($50) and some feeding smocks (like a bib but with arms as well and they are really long) so for really messy foods (banana etc) his clothes at least don't get covered. I use the handy vac and vacuum the floor under the high chair and then wipe the floor down after each meal as I can't stand mess but it really doesn't take very long.
    I am no expert on BF and we have our own issues here, but with her screaming at your boobs, how long has it been happening for? If it's only a couple of days..has AF returned yet? My DS was screaming and arching his back for a couple of days and then AF appeared.
    Sleeping could be teething related, we have just been through a terrible time with DS which lasted for weeks and weeks but 2 teeth are through now and he slept 12hrs last night. 2 weeks ago was a completely different story!
    I hope things get better for your soon

  10. #10

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    I think if your diet is good, then probably anything you have is fine for your DD too. I guess you want to avoid too much sugar and salt, and any possible choking hazards like whole nuts and the like. Honey also is not recommended before 12 months.

    AF returning is another possibility too for the fussiness at the breast, if that hasn't happened yet.

    Great minds Raven

  11. #11

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    Ahh the last few days have been better with solids, I've been trying not to get upset at the mess and I think I may be getting used to it, enough not to freak out anyway!
    Having kids means having a messy house, I need to accept this sooner or later!
    Thanks for all your kind support and advice! It's a relief to know I'm not the only mum who's ever thought solids are hard.

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