We did a list each and then compared - any names that showed up on both were automatically in and the rest were up for negotiation. If there were valid reasons as to why they wouldn't work then they got crossed off. If it was just an "I don't like" then it was moved to the potential middle name list.

We were very lucky though with DD1 her names were on both lists and it was an automatic choice. With DD2 we had decided on the first name and DD1 chose the middle name (actually she came up with the idea of using that name too) so DD2 has the name of our OB as her middle name as DD1 adored our OB.