oh hun, DD is just 2 and went through a phase of totally hating DP for about a week, was terrible! would let him near her, and would just shout ''i hate you daddy, get away from me'' but we tried really hard not to make a fuss and it passed.
Different to your situation but maybe its just a phase, she is pusshing boundries and learing that she can control things. no real advice....il think about it! hope you get some good advice!
I have no idea but my 3.5 year old is the same. She screams and screams. I am so over it. I am dreading the teen years.
I've also tried the calm voice, getting on her level, rationalising it with her, ignoring, praising good behavior... and it's done nothing. I've tried time out, removal of toys... I don't know what else to do...
Nothing like a cuddle from DD after a hard day's work!
Oct 2007
in my own world
3,267
KL my DD is 2 yrs and 3 months and she has major attitude too! "No", "Go away", "You cant do that!" "Dont touch me!" Last night, she chucked all my papers around the room and i asked her to not do it 3 times. I then held her hands together and told her to "Stop, the paper is making a mess" before threatening the naughty corner. She said to me "Mum stop that! Dont touch me! You cant do that. Go away"
"2, 2.5, 3, 3.5 they all do it", is what i keep getting told
Each day i keep reminding myself it's normal or a phase that will pass, i keep looking at my parenting and thinking that i must be somehow failing and failing him to be having a child with this attitude. As i type he's screaming at his little brother for even being close to him it's so disheartening at times.
Honestly i have no real advice because i'm struggling too and have been going to post something myself but haven't gotten around to it. He may have caught me on an emotional day but last Saturday he had me in tears within less than an hour of being up.
Getting down to her level and calming talking to her sounds great, i think what i'm beginning to learn is at their age as nicely as we say things and try and explain ourselves as clearly as possible it doesn't mean they'll listen to reason in any way. I was told by my DS's day carer to try keep calm and replicate the things we want them to do, the sharing, the taking turns, speaking nicely to each other. We're not going anywhere today and i'm going to give it a go, get down on their level play with them and really try and throw in some positive examples of 'being kind' and 'playing well with others'. It's a daily battle and i hope it gets easier.
My advice is - be really nice to your partner and vice versa. They will be the ones to give you cuddles as you await the return of your normal little girl. She will pop in from time to time - just enough to give you hope, but don't expect her to stay for at least a few more years. I will let you know when my little DS comes home. :P
It can be so frustrating dealing with a behaviour alllll day one day, only to get up and deal with the exact same thing the next day.
One thing which has been helping with my 2yo lately is simply to reflect back to him so that he knows I am listening to him. I can't believe how many tantrums it helps me avoid. It's usually not hard to guess what he is really upset about or what he really wants to do, so instead of letting him lead into 'no no no no no no no no' (his favourite word ) I interrupt him and say 'you don't want to have a bath do you? you want to stay here and play. You want me to go away' etc etc. It's amazing. He starts to look at me, and talk to me calmly and then he hops in the bath
My DD is doing this to at 2 years 5 months. She likes to say "stop it" and "I don't like it" and "go away" and "I don't want to" - all in the right context.
It's hard when for the past 2 years I've just been able to get her to do the things I want her to do. I guess this is all part of growing up. They develop their will and learn how to make their own decisions.
Try and brush her hair - "Don't touch my hair!" Fix for this one is to brush someone else's hair, then she wants hers done too. I use DD#1 for this, since she is usually a knotty mess too.
"Don't touch my <insert body part here>". Fix - tickle her. You can't complain when you're giggling.
Most of the other stuff she gets from her big sister and will only use on her big sister. Like "shut up", "go away", "DD#1's being stupid", "don't talk with food in your mouth", "stop that", "don't hit me" etc, which we never hear when DD#1 isn't home. With us we usually get "I need to snuggle" or other cutenesses.
My DS certainly chucks his wobblies, but he is being ever so good lately (touch wood). If he says 'go away' or 'don't do this or that' then like another PP I reiterate to him that I understand, and I just don't do it. He actually says 'go away' a lot to our helper and I've noticed that she gets in his face too much and he just doesn't like it. They all now just have the words to express how they are feeling, and that is a good thing.
If DS isn't listening, I get him to 'turn on his listening ears' and he tugs on them and will then listen to me. I make sure he looks at my face too rather than being distracted by something else.
Everything always passes, you just have to ride the wave
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) I interrupt him and say 'you don't want to have a bath do you? you want to stay here and play. You want me to go away' etc etc. It's amazing. He starts to look at me, and talk to me calmly and then he hops in the bath
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