2 Years Apart ~ when does is REALLY get easier?

[Liz]

Yeah - kanda - look for work arounds eg.. if shopping is hard, do online shopping. Find a petrol station with pay at the pump so you're not juggling kids to go in and pay. Can't think of other examples at the moment..but I'm sure you get my drift

[Phteven]

Kanda, my boys have 16 months between them and they play together really well.
I've taken them out a lot since day dot and since they know all the rountines and rules nine times out of ten we go the shops ect without dramas. I don't try to do a big weekly shop, we go to the shops and do a small shop about 5 days a week.
Every now and then they have a squabble but they're best buddies again a few minutes later.
My favourite part is eavesdropping on their conversations - they're so funny!! DH and I have to stifle our giggles or we get told off because "it's not nice to laugh at people" pmsl.

[Cricket]

For what it's worth, I have four, all two years apart (we didn't plan it that way, that's just how they come ) and it's going tolerably. Right now things are a little crazy, with a new born, and DD1 starting school for the first time, but I have no regrets/issues with their age gap. I think it's more a matter of personalities clashing or matching, rather than age difference. So to those expecting or TTC, I don't think you need to worry TOO much about spacing - each age has advantages and disadvantages.
To the OP - I hope your struggle gets easier as your little ones grow and learn to play together better!

[MrsFabuloso]

I hear your pain! My two are 16months apart and I write this after having just tried to sneak into the bathroom to go to the loo in peace. NO CHANCE! DD came in and wanted to empty the nappy bin of it's contents to get at a broken toy in there, DS was trying to put his hands through my legs to get at the toilet cleaner thingy. Then DD wanted to go to the toilet too (she's toilet training) when all I wanted was to get them out of the bathroom. so I put her on the loo and took DS into the bedromm only to return to DD having emptied a half full toilet paper roll everywhere and trying to put on my lipstick.
I rarely go out anywhere without DH. DD is a runner and is so not worried about if I'm with her or not and she will not sit strapped into a pram, hold hands and nor will she wear a harness. A trolley is a good option for us too. DS is ok in the pram though will start to scream after an hour or so. But I just choose to minimise my stress and don't go out with them both. If I have to go anywhere one or both stay with DH or he comes with me. Sometimes I will get mum to look after one or the other if I really need to.

[Trillian]

It doens't get easier in terms of life all of a sudden being an absolute breeze and the kids do exactly what you want them to do - it gets easier because you get to the point where you know your children inside and out - you know what to expect from them when you take them out and you deal with it accordingly - you pre-empt the tantrums or the escape plans, if you know you can't get halfway around the supermarket without one of the starting to whinge then you take food as a distraction etc. I hate to say it but it really does come down to you and how you choose to approach it because the buck stops with you. Any age gap is hard at times for different reasons so it wouldn't matter if you had a bigger or smaller gap it will still be hard. I am more busy now than I have EVER been now that the kids are older and we are getting involved in children's sport after school and on the weekends. Plus you often don't realise it but if you are not in a good place yourself it affects everything you do with your children. If you are overtired you are more likely to snap at things which normally you wouldn't bat an eyelid at and if you are struggling with your own issues then even if you had two perfect little angels life and the day to day grind will still seem like an insurmountable challenge that you can't win.

[MrsFabuloso]

Very true Trillian. I know that I don't cope well with the stress of going out with both the kids at the momnet. I am so worried I am going to lose DD. Which I would never forgive myself for. So I minimise the need for me to go out with both kids on my own.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Mine are going to be 14-15mths apart (depends if #2 waits)... what am i doing???? lol

[Phteven]

Ava'smum#1, Please don't worry about having a 16 month gap, I wouldn't have it any other way. It's so worth oit when you see your little ones being best friends.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

thanks brontide my brother and i are not even a yr apart, he was born 4 days before my 1st birthday... still maintain the WORST b'day pressie in history

#2 wasn't part of our plan and def not this early, we are building a house (hopefully starting by the end of the yr) and will be moving once it's finished and obv after #2 is here... i have no doubts it will be hard but am over the constant #2 is going to be a psycho child etc etc as #1 is so calm.
Isn't it all in how YOU manage and react to them?

I don't know what to expect, i know it wont be easy but am looking forward to my 2 little princesses being very close friends... OH NO just realised the trouble we will have with 2 teenage girls.... LOL i'm sure they may pretend to be twins at one stage... hehe

[Liz]

Well said Trillian, and so true. I think I've become a pretty good pre-empter when it comes to going out. And I think because when we are out I'm a bit more organised and together, that's why the kids behave for me. It's when we're at home and the kids are idle and I'm trying to do other stuff that chaos takes over LOL. I have to remind myself to help them find something to do, like help them set up painting or something, and then things run smoother. It's when they are just hanging around that mischief happens.

Lilias - had to giggle at you on the toilet. That happens here too.

And TOTALLY agree with this:

Plus you often don't realise it but if you are not in a good place yourself it affects everything you do with your children. If you are overtired you are more likely to snap at things which normally you wouldn't bat an eyelid at and if you are struggling with your own issues then even if you had two perfect little angels life and the day to day grind will still seem like an insurmountable challenge that you can't win.

Overtired mummy and my two darlings = tears and tantrums from all of us! LOL. I have to remember that I am the adult here and it's up to me to calm situations, and like you say Avasmum, it's all about how you manage them and react to them. I think tho it doesn't matter how many times we hear that, we all learn it the hard way at times LOL.

[Feijoa Mum]

I have four and one on the way with different age gaps.

19mths between 1 and 2
3 1/2 yrs between 2 and 3
almost 6 years between 3 and 4
and this time will be be just off 2 years between 4 and 5.

I dont think there is such a thing as a good age gap and each gap has its own positives and negatives. It does get easier to handle with age as they are a bit more independant, but the fighting gets worse.
My older boys are a good extra pair of hands when it comes to looking after their little brother but they are very much starting to get into their own lives and not interested in playing with younger siblings.

To be honest with you it is hard now (thats an understatement somedays) but I have chosen to have this gap this time as it works out easiest in the long run. I have seen it and know that their will be a light at the end of the tunnel.
You do it because you have to and you do what you have to ge through the day. You learn what works and what is the best way to go about each situation and you do it.

It is hard hun but hey what doesnt kill you will make you stronger, isnt that what they say. I must be one strong son of gun thats for sure!!!

[aussienic]

My eldest was 4.5 when we had number 2 then 3 came along when 2 was 23 months old then 4 came along when 3 was 25 months old

I found around 18 months to 2 years it became easier. When they could play ect..

It does get easier.