I dont have time to read all the responses to this so i apologise if this has already been said.
Most of what will be driving this behaviour is tiredness. You are doing the right thing giving him positive attention but it is very important that you dont give him any attention at all when his behaviour is undesirable. This is very simple what i am going to tell you, but it does work. When he shows inappropriate behaviour, tell him in very few words what you want him to do ie. jumping on the couch "sit down please", if he doesnt comply hold up a finger and says "thats 1", wait 5 to 10 seconds with no other interaction or words, if he doesnt comply hold up 2 fingers and say "thats 2", wait 5 to 10 seconds, if he doesnt comply say "thats 3, take 4" and take him quietly to his room for time out. While he is in time out it is not a punishment, so if he plays with his toys in there its ok, after 4 mins tell him he can come out now and speak nothing more of what happened, clean slate. It will take several attempts at this before he gets the new routine but he will get it and generally they get it quickly. If the situation is something like hes hitting his sibling then you dont count to 3, its an immediate "thats 3, take 4".
Might seem too simple but i urge all of you having issues to try it. it does work, sometimes it takes perseverance. There is also a book you can get called 1,2,3 Magic which helps more in depth than ive gone today.
Thanks for that Kristi. We have been doing the 1,2,3 thing for a couple of years now. It doesn't deter him at all.
There is more going on than a behavior problem. It is like that one last thing just overwhelms him and he crumbles. He seems to have a lack of coping skills. I spoke to a health nurse today for over an hour and she has chased up the GP referral and made another with a child health unit.
It is so hard to explain, because he is really a nice kid - he is chatty and witty and has a fantastic imagination and then bam!, tantrum.
that is great that you are persevering with this arte. hopefully the child health unit can point you in the right direction.
i agree with you that this is more than a behaviour problem.
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