Uh! I hear you hun :hugs: Do you have a sling or carrier? since I got my sling I can now go to the loo properly, I can move about and get out of the house. If you cant buy 1 maybe you could rent or borrow 1?
What do you think wakes him? change in position? change in temperature? nothing to suck? (all of these have been factors in DD waking) yesterday afternoon she slept 15mins (my sling was in the wash)
Wish I could hold baby for you, let you have a nap/ bath or do some of your washing
Oh you poor thing, you are doing it so tough at the moment aren't you???
Have you had him checked over by a GP and the CHN? There might be something physical going on?
What happens when he wakes - is he distressed? Or just grizzling? What happens if you leave him for a little bit?
I don't know that CC would be too effective at this age - he doesn't quite understand the ways of the world yet! He's getting there though - he knows the best place to sleep is close to mummy. Does he sleep if you are lying next to him, in bed? Or does he have to be in your arms upright?
I've got a bad sleeper too...well 3 actually! But #3 is definately my worst. I am getting to the point that I am becoming desperate. Last night I could have left him in his cot to cry himslef back to sleep I was that tired, except that he wakes my other kids and DH and that's not fair. So up I got, hourly or more.
Have you spoken to a MCHN or gp? Would you go to a sleep school? They can give you referrals for day stays, or the more intensive units (not sure what sort of places are up there?) There are lots of books you could try using for routines ect...I'm sure your local library would have some.
I wish kids came with a manual on how to get them to sleep! Good luck, if you find the secret let me know!
I know this is a gentle parenting site, but my personal suggestion, would be to think about trying some way of helping him to learn to self settle. It can't be good for him either to be waking this frequently. You need to be a sane mummy (not that you aren't, but I know I would be crazy by now!). Or to co-sleep.
Again, personally, we have helped our boys to self settle from about 6 weeks old. And yes, by self settle, I mean cry it out. I know others aren't comfortable with this idea, but perhaps you could consider it.
Have you tried contacting Tresillian? They might be able to offer you a sleep program where they can assist you in helping DS to sleep for longer periods, or at least working out why he's awake every hour.
Good Luck.
No wonder they call sleep deprivation a form of torture!!
Were at 8mths of horrible sleep so I can relate somewhat. Have you thought about the possibility of sleep school then? Worth a thought if your at a loss of what to do
Hi ForShelby, huge hugs....I am so sorry you are going through this....it sounds like something is making him uncomfortable, causing him to wake up...I can't remember from your other posts if you said you had been to a baby osteo/chiro? Is he on reflux meds....have you heard of the Horsham Colic Drops? All natural, a pharmacist in Horsham make them, people swear by them. If I think of anything else I will come back.
It can be tough when you have little or no support. It's surprising how many of us are out there with no family to help.
Time was all that worked for me. DS1 started sleeping well at six and a half months. I was soooo tired and strung out - and then it just happened.
DS2 is 20 months old and he still sleeps like a baby - and by that i mean he grizzles and wakes up and wants company and sleeps a bit and grizzles some more etc etc! I didn't want to try sleep school just because the only ones i could find used CC, and that's not really my thing. I hope you can catch a few good days in a row and you can start to feel human again.
The only long term solution I have found is to cosleep. I tried some other settling techniques, but in the end, as soon as they got sick or teething, I found I had to start all over again.
For me I had to change my lifestyle to prioritize my own sleep. Dd was in our bed permanently, and I went to bed about as early as I could. If she woke in the evening, I would just go and breastfeed her back to sleep and sneak out again. Then in the day I made a nap time the main focus of the day and I would change both of us for bed and go to bed with her and breastfeed her to sleep and at each stirring, until she was sleeping in a long stretch (she was older than your ds at this stage). This way we we both napping for three hours each day and getting a full nights rest each night (not a full nights sleep but it's amazing how much better you'll feel if you're not getting up each time)
Yes this will impact on your relationship with dh, but we worked around it by having a date each Saturday and got someone to mind dd so we could have lunch together. We also had dinner together without dd Most nights.
I hope this helps. You need support to help you get through this whichever way you choose...I hope you can access some.
For day sleeps, have you thought about a carrier or will he sleep in the pram? From about 7months onwards, I found the only way I could get DD to sleep during the day was walking in the pram. To begin with, I would have to be moving the whole time, so we had 2x1hour walks a day (bonus was I lost all the baby weight ) but as she got older, I could just walk round the block and then leave her in the hallway and she would carry on sleeping.
DS was a shocker at night, and I was a walking zombie by 9months. I had to do something, and nothing was working for us. It got so bad that one night DH was out, and DS woke after an hour and no matter what I tried I could not get him back to sleep. I ended up putting him in his cot, closing the door, putting music and phoning DH, at which point I broke down into hysterical sobbing. DH thought something had happened to one of the kids. That was the point when DH said we had to do something, so after research, we decided to do the interval stuff- leave them for 2mins, go back, leave them for 4, go back in, 6, 8, 10. We never left him longer than 10minutes. It was hard, but it only took 4nights, and even the first night, he only woke up once (as opposed to 6+ times). Now, unless something is wrong, he will generally sleep 7pm-6.30am, and is happy about going to bed. And he is a happy, affectionate child during the day (which I am so glad for as I was so worried we would break him).
I know this is a gently parenting site, and many won't agree with me, and before I had DS, I would'nt have agreed with me either. But only you know how you are coping or not, and noone can judge you for doing what you have to do. The way I justified it to myself was because of my sleep depravation I wasn't being a good mummy during the day, so by doing the interval crying, we all got sleep and it has made me a much better mummy to both my children. My lack of sleep was affecting DD majorly, and as soon as I was better, things changed with her too.
take care of yourself. I hope whatever you choose, things improve.
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it is sooo hard if you have a non-sleeper.
) but as she got older, I could just walk round the block and then leave her in the hallway and she would carry on sleeping.
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