7mo won't self settle anymore!

[phebee]

7mo DD has never 'slept through' but she was doing only one wake-up a night for a while and I was quite happy with that. Then at 4.5 months she woke 4-hourly for feeds and I figured it was a growth spurt. That went for 2.5 weeks, then back to once-a-night for a week, then back to 4 hourly ever since. I've been trying to get her to go through without at least even just one but she won't have a bar of it. Absolutely screams the place down and only gets worse with patting, not better. She's happy again as soon as you pick her up, but then if you are lucky enough to get her to sleep again she wakes and screams again. I'm exhausted. What can I do to teach her to self settle again? If I try leaving her to cry for a bit, she just gets worse and I'm not into CC anyway.

[Taurean]

My DD2 has just been in the same boat except I was often up every 2 hours with her This started around 5 months and, besides our holiday in July where she was a dream baby (dunno why!), her sleep has only improved the past couple of weeks. She actually slept through for the first time ever last night - 11 hours straight. She's 9 months this coming Tuesday.

Anyway, no real advice for you but I wanted you to know you're not alone and I've personally found its quite common. We ended up moving DD2 into the nursery a week ago so that may have helped and we've been seeing a baby chiro for the past 3 weeks. Before that I'd tried every trick in the book with no real luck at all.

The best thing I read which helped with my sanity is that most babies start sleeping through around 9-10 months. At this age they actually have the know-how to do it, apparently. Anyway, I've clung to that a bit when the nights have been rough. And who knows, maybe that's exactly what's happening now. She's about to hit that magical age, maybe my luck is about to change. I hope yours does soon too hon. Big hugs x

[Lily Dust]

I think it's pretty common at that age. Its a 'bad' time for separation anxiety and needing mum close by. DD was shocking from 7- 15 months, wouldnt let anyone near her except me. You dont need to teach her to self settle again, hun, it's something she will go back to in her own time. It might not seem like it but it will happen eventually

Do you have a copy of the Wonder Weeks book? Its really good at explaining what's going on in little brains and why they are so clingy at particular stages of development.

Sleep deprivation is hard and it is hard when you think that your bub is reverting back to a newborn but just remember this will pass

[Sagres]

Both my girls used to self settle fine (with no effort from me, I just laid them down for bed and they slept, I don't know how!) until around that age. It is very common from what I understand. For both of mine it coincided with getting teeth, as in they were different ages when they got teeth and the night waking preceded the teeth whether that be at 6 months or 9 months. I think perhaps they experience a bit of a dull ache that is not enough to make them scream in pain but enough to make it hard for them to get to sleep or go back to sleep after a night time wake up ITMS. But other people say they experience the same with ear infections - where the only sign of the infection was night waking. Then again others say it happens a bit before they learn to crawl (their minds just race at the possibility of movement and they have trouble switching off) or it happens when they are going through a stage of separation anxiety, or it just happens for no reason that they can tell.
Either way it is very common. Try and see in you can determine if there is any pain or discomfort reason behind it, but if there doesn't seem to be it could just be a developmental age and stage thing and cuddles might be the only fix.

As for trying to teach her to self settle, I found during the painful teething time there is no way DD1 would self settle for love or money! But when things were 'normal' I would sit with her, rub her face, pat her tummy and sing to her until she went to sleep and repeat for every sleep. Generally I found first attempt it took 1 hour, next time maybe 20 minutes, next time 5 minutes then pretty much straight to sleep after that.....until the next tooth came along and you just yamn and repeat, yawn and repeat

But as with so many baby things, just remember 'this stage will pass, this stage will pass, this stage will pass'.

[phebee]

Thanks guys. I did wonder if teething was beginning. Plus, she's also just come out of a brace for hip dysplasia and is starting to learn to roll. She was beginning to learn that at 3.5 months when the brace went on, so is picking up where she left off. According to the chart on the Wonder Weeks app she's supposed to be in a happy, sunny stage ATM :P

[onthefly]

It is really hard not to doubt ourselves when things suddenly change.
It really is quite normal, though, for babies and toddlers to need help to sleep. Sometimes the best thing to do is just whatever makes things easier for you as you wait it out. They do all get there eventually, it just takes a bit of time. And if she's teething or has anything else going on - developmental leap, illness, separation anxiety - then 'training' isn't likely to work even if you were inclined to do that.

[phebee]

MCHN suggested offering water in a sippy cup instead of the breast during the night. I might do it gradually... Only at the 1-3am ish feed. Fingers crossed!