Advice that makes you feel guilty or inadequate....

[Taurean]

Great article. My personal issue is with so many people judging me and making me feel uncomfotable about using my sling when my DD is unsettled during the day. I'm good at explaining the benefits of my sling now but I shouldn't have to explain myself. It drives me nuts and I often feel like I'm being watched and judged when I put it on in front of others. Others have made me feel uncomfortable and inadequate as I appear to rely on my sling to settle my daughter during the day. Why should I be made to feel bad for doing something my daughter clearly loves?!

My mum comments that it makes it difficult for anyone else to babysit but I've told her that it's more important that me, the person who is with her 99% of the time can settle her and stay sane instead of me worrying about everyone else!

My MIL said it was 'too hot' and DD shouldn't be held so often as it's uncomfortable for her. Hmmm, she falls asleep in the sling 95% of the time (the rest of the time she just hangs out) so no, dear MIL, I don't think she is uncomfortable.

SIL said that's why she fights day sleeps as the sling is her sleep cue and it's now a habit. She wasn't exactly having a dig but it did make me feel like it was my fault, from using the sling so much, that DD was struggling with day sleeps (unless in the sling)

Friends who don't use a sling (and obviously don't know how good they are!) have made random comments too.

It has been really hard to be criticised and questioned frequently for doing something that is so natural and 'foolproof'. But I'm good at reeling off the benefits for sling wearing now and I'm quick to let people know what works for me and my DD is most important. I should never have been questioned or critised in the first place though.

[Kazzo]

Oh, glad I stumbled across this, I have a friend who gets comments like these all the time from her PIL so I will be passing this on to her to read.

I remember when I had just brought DD1 home from hospital, MIL was over, I was holding Amelia after a feed and she had fallen asleep, MIL came stomping over and picked up Amelia and walked off saying, 'I hate seeing sleeping babies in arms' and headed to my room. I was stunned at first then quickly got up, took Amelia back off her and said.'If you don't like it don't look'. She has since never interferred with me or my girls in that way since.