I need some advice please. And i apologise for this being a little long but thought it might help to know the whole story.

We've been taking our DS1 to swimming lessons since he was 2. He was doing fine swimming with either DH or I in the toddler classes. We also have our own pool so he has been use to water...though obviously we haven't been in our pool for a while (bring on summer i say).

So the week DS1 turned 3 they felt he was ready for the next level where there is 3 in the class and its just the kids and instructor in the pool. For the first 4weeks he was doing pretty well. There was still a slight issue in actually getting in the pool- but after a 2minute cuddle with the instructor he was fine and did everything perfectly. Now about this time we decided to stop taking our DS2 swimming who was about 16months old (couple reasons - 1. He just cried the whole 30minutes in the pool and 2. My DH began doing night shift and was not able to help me take them especially as getting in the pool and even getting out and dressing them was just to awkward at that peak swimming time). So i know that was possibly a trigger and we do plan to recommence DS2 when the weather warms up and we can then also do practices in our pool in between (where they seem happy).

But about week 6 (week 5 we were all sick) his instructor was away so we had a replacement (who we had seen before back in the toddler classes) and he just cried and kept getting out. The instructor couldn't stop him everytime (there is another upset little boy in the class too) so after 20minutes of this and lots of tears later we cut the lesson short. The following week the original instructor returned- took a little longer to settle then previous weeks but he was ok after that. Then we had a sick week again and then the following week i had to take DS1 by myself with DS2- which is fine except i get there and finds out his usual instructor was away. I just knew we'd have an issue. The little play area for DS2 is right in front of the swimming section and DS1 did not want to swim with this new male instructor (he is the owner who we've seen before but not swam with). DS1 kept getting out and running to me where i was trying to play and hold DS2 who was grizzly and wouldn't leave me without lots of tears. Argh it was frustrating! The following week DH took DS1 alone and it was perfect....even got in without tears. Then the following week I had to take them both again alone....well i didn't even get out the front door of our house. DS1 cried & carried on so much at home saying "i don't wanna go swimming anymore". I'd dress him and he'd take his clothes off everytime i got them on. Our class is at 8am- so I had to give up at 7.50 as it takes 10minutes just to drive there, then to find a park (its been extremely busy the last few months all of a sudden) get them both out of the car, undress and spend the 5-10minute minimum tantrum...not worth it. And its been the same story for the last 4weeks- with or without DH.

I've tried to explain why swimming is important, tried to bribe with doing an activity of his choice after, bribed with food treats, tried with the spending quality time with just mummy or daddy avenue. But its still "i don't wanna go swimming anymore".

The other week i did ask one of the instructors (not the usual one but the one we talk to at the counter) what to do. She recommended to keep coming, putting him in the water and disappearing (there is an upstairs viewing area we can hide out). But i can't see this working unless they keep DS1 in the pool while I get DS2 organised from the play area to take upstairs (unless DH is available to take him or stay home with DS2). But then its an issue to even to swimming in the first place....it all starts at putting his swimmers on (which he has 3 favourites to choose from too i might add).

So what do i do? Force him with tears and tantrums or let DS1 decide.

DH says to let DS1 decide- so i said do i cancel his lessons for now cause we can't afford to be paying for lessons were not attending (though they do put them down as make up lessons which never expire). But he doesn't respond. And DH is not really helping encourage it which is really frustrating! I feel its really important to learn to swim, especially as we have a pool.

So please help me. What would you do? What would you try? Whats your experiences?

Thanks in advance for your advice.

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