Advice - toddler getting out of bed at night

[OceanPrincess]

Sorry I just thought of something else. Something else that has helped us.

We forget how old DD is. She's still my baby girl - but she's 2.5, will be 3 next year!

Have you tried just having a talk to her? Like Kaz says - talking during the day, reading books about going to sleep (maybe stay away from Go the F to sleep?? ), talking to her during the day about your expectations.

I had forgotten how much she understands. When she first started playing up at bedtime again, this was soon followed by hourly wake ups when she was just carrying on wanting water, NOT wanting water, wanting more water, then having a wet nappy... this was the sort of behaviour I call "boundary pushing". She didn't really NEED anything, she was just playing up. So that's when I had a big talk to her before bed each night about how she was a big girl now and how she knew that mummy and daddy were right there, down the corridor, and she did not need to call out for us every time she woke up.

If she had an ow, or was scared, she could call us and we would come but that big girls are good at sleeping at night and didn't need to yell out. And then I brought up The Rule again and reminded her about staying in bed and staying quiet.

So maybe try talking to her!

[Artechim]

Thanks for the post OP. Unfortunately I don't think it would work for us, DD just isn't up there with the comprehension for that sort of thing. She simply wouldn't understand any of it.

[~*Niadalla*~]

With both of my kids, it was baby gates all the way.
If they NEEDED us, they would call out. Otherwise, they'd stay in bed because what was the point getting up and not being able to leave the room?
Worked a treat both times and DD was in her bed 2 months with a baby gate on the door before we took it away and haven't had any problems since.

[Olive]

Artechim maybe try the clock with your DD worth a try

[Artechim]

I really don't think she would understand the clock thing either. She isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

[OceanPrincess]

She's not quite 2 yet?

Maybe baby gates are the way to go. Have you tried that?

ETA: Arte you must be exhausted

[Taurean]

maybe stay away from Go the F to sleep??

Are you kidding? That's great advice! We'll read that to her before bed each night! Why didn't I think of that?

OP - that is some awesome advice. DD is a smart little cookie and I think she may just get it. We do talk a bit about bed time and sleeping through and she was most excited to show off her 'big girl bed' to nanna and poppy when she first started sleeping in it so I know she's aware of a lot more than I give her credit for. And this morning when I was close to losing it and she was going mental behind her door, I just opened it and said 'that's enough screaming, it's time for sleep. Back in your bed' and sure enough she shut up immediatelly and waddled (in her sleeping bag, lol) back into bed and went quiet. The issue is with me leaving the room Oh, and her continually getting back up. I think *most* of the time she is pushing the boundaries so I will give your advice a go tonight.

Olive - I'm off to get one of those clocks today! Thanks for the idea! We have the GroEgg and I love it and had looked at the clock but thought DD might be a bit young but from what you and OP have said, I reckon it could be a winner

Kaz - hon, I've been following your story (but not posting, mainly because I don't know what to say ) and you are amazing To come in here and give me advice, well, I'm truly touched hon. I could see why you'd be having a few sleep issues with you DS now more than ever and you seem to be handling it beautifully. I love your advice too and will be taking bits and pieces from each post and giving things a go. I reckon you're right about sleep school too, we've already been twice (when DD was young) and she 'won' twice. Yup, both times we got sent home early because they couldn't 'fix' her. It's pretty funny thinking back on it now I have one very determined young lady on my hands. DD has a good selection of 'friends' in her bed but she's not overly attached to any of them although I keep pushing them onto her! I was hoping she'd be settled by one in particular but the only thing she seems to really need is her musical seahorse (it's belly lights up too) and her dummies. Oh, and me

Niadalla - I'm going to sound so stupid here but we have a gate on her door but we aren't using it. I bought one of those fancy mesh ones that retracts back into the bracket so you can have a fully opened doorway if required. Well it makes so much noise when you use it that we had to leave it closed the whole time she was in bed which meant I had to climb over it and at 160cm (and preggers), I'm only just clearing it. Maybe I should keep a step ladder handy I think I might start using it again though and see if it helps and if it does, then we'll install a normal gate so I don't have to continue hurdling it.

Arte - Big hugs, I'm feeling your pain. Maybe give some of these tricks a go. Miss A may just surprise you. Miss I has blown us away with some of the things she understands that we didn't think she would. It's gotta be worth a shot.

MNB - hats off to you lovely. This issue times 1 is bad enough, how the hell are you surviving?! I hope you've got some good ideas from this thread too.

Cranky Kitten - cheers hon. I reckon my DD really needs a bit of tough love too so the no-nonsense approach sounds like a good plan to me.

Watch this space girls. Hopefully I'll have some good news in the weeks (months? Gawd I hope it doesn't take that long!) to come

[~Kaz~]

Yup, both times we got sent home early because they couldn't 'fix' her. It's pretty funny thinking back on it now I have one very determined young lady on my hands. DD has a good selection of 'friends' in her bed but she's not overly attached to any of them although I keep pushing them onto her! I was hoping she'd be settled by one in particular but the only thing she seems to really need is her musical seahorse (it's belly lights up too) and her dummies. Oh, and me

I'm sorry mate but being sent home early from sleep school twice is gold!! I'd be quite proud of that in a weird kind of way! Her determination will be a positive trait as an adult.

With the 'friend' thing, DS has only just started doing it. As in the last 3 weeks or so. He was given a puppy dog by a mate of mine and it was love at first sight He had a couple of 'friends' before that from when he was 6 months old because we were trying (futilely it seems now that I look back on his infancy) to create sleep associations. But now he has a major attachment to 'puppy dog' (they eat, sleep, play and do everything together, we even brush puppy dogs teeth before his I think it could be an age/developmental thing. And your DD is about 5 months younger than DS so a crazy attachment object could be just around the corner

[Taurean]

I'm sorry mate but being sent home early from sleep school twice is gold!! I'd be quite proud of that in a weird kind of way! Her determination will be a positive trait as an adult.

With the 'friend' thing, DS has only just started doing it. As in the last 3 weeks or so. He was given a puppy dog by a mate of mine and it was love at first sight He had a couple of 'friends' before that from when he was 6 months old because we were trying (futilely it seems now that I look back on his infancy) to create sleep associations. But now he has a major attachment to 'puppy dog' (they eat, sleep, play and do everything together, we even brush puppy dogs teeth before his I think it could be an age/developmental thing. And your DD is about 5 months younger than DS so a crazy attachment object could be just around the corner

The first time it happened I was devestated and cried most of the way home, lol! The second time I did have the weird proud feeling. They claimed they'd be able to remove our use for the sling and told me it was a sleep association that we could easily get rid of - within the day. Well when they finally gave up on her, they told me to put her in the sling as she clearly needed sleep and DD nodded off immediately and I walked out with the biggest smirk on my face.

Interesting what you just said about the 'friends addiction' - a few friends with slightly older kids have said the same thing so maybe it will happen soon. I keep on trying to force them on her, she has a fine selection to choose from! Fingers crossed!

[Cranky Kitten]

Funny what people are saying about the special friends thing - DD took a while where she wasn't particularly fussed either way, but at about 18 months Pink Ted became the be all and end all. Catastrophe would strike if she couldn't find Pink Ted, and he got carted *everywhere*

Incidentally, Pink Ted was a teddy bear she'd had since birth that was seriously the brightest most fluorescent pink sparkly teddy bear you've ever seen.

All the best - hope you get some decent sleep tonight, but I will say perhaps expect it to get a bit worse before it gets better...especially if she's as strong willed as you say.

[Taurean]

We had a better night last night with the baby gate in use Instead of going in to settle DD, I stood on the other side of the gate and spoke calmly to her from there. She surprised me after a small tanty and waddled back to bed and went to sleep She still got up a few times but the progress was promising in that she didn't need me right there, on the end of her bed.

I've bought the GroClock today (they are so cute!) so we'll be introducing her to it tonight. Can't wait to see how it goes!

[Cranky Kitten]

Woohoo!!

Yay for having a better night

[~*Niadalla*~]

That's great! Good luck with the gro clock. I think I'll have to invest in one of those to keep my kids in bed of a morning until a decent hour.

[Cranky Kitten]

Mmm, going to have to keep them in mind for this one - teaching DD she was allowed up when the sun came up was fine for winter....but not so much fun at 5am in summer *grimace*

[OceanPrincess]

Ooh sounding promising T!!

Good luck tonight.

[Taurean]

She finally slept through!!!

DD went down at 8 last night easily and it's now 7.30am and she's still going. She hasn't made a peep all night!! I'm celebrating in bed with a hot cuppa I feel like a new woman!

I have no idea which trick has actually worked but girls, THANK YOU all so much for all your advice and support Who knows if our winning streak (lol) will continue but to have had at least one full nights sleep has given me the energy I needed to battle on. OK, that sounds a bit dramatic but you get the idea

For those who are stalking for ideas for themselves, here are the latest things that we've done that may have helped:
- we have the GroClock which she loves (the book that comes with it is gorgeous) and I believe she'll understand it fully soon.
- we are using the kiddy gate across her door agaisedimentary she can't leave her room although she can see out if she opens her door, which is slightly ajar with one of those foam stoppers (so she can't jam her fingers). But we close her door fully until we go to bed so there is no temptation early on, then I open it a fraction.
- we have also been more firm with our language ie 'It's bed time DD, time for sleep. We love you and will see you in the morning' and 'Back to bed DD, it's still night time so time for sleep. Back into bed, lay on your pillow. We'll see you in the morning. Shhhh, shhhh'. You get the idea. Oh, we've also been settling her from the other side of the gate instead of sitting on her bed where possible and she's taken to that better than I expected. So she can see me and hear me but also realises that she isn't getting her way, IYKWIM. I was stunned the first time I tried it (Thurs night) that after a little dummy spit she put herself back to bed while I was watching.

So I'm not counting my chickens but certainly celebrating this win I'll keep updating in case this helps others in the same boat

[Cranky Kitten]

Yaaaay! Well done

[~Kaz~]

Awesome news Taurean!! Every night they sleep through is a massive WHOOHOO in my book!! I'm glad you found some strategies/approaches that work for the three of you. xx