Agressive Behaviour in 14mth old - I am on my knees and need some help

[Salad]

I dont even know where to start, I am so upset by this and exhausted trying to find a way to prevent fix or stop it.
DD for the last 6 weeks has been having major sleep issues, I have had about 24 hours sleep in the last 5 days. She sleeps for 3 hours in her own bed, then wakes and we cannot settle her again, either in her bed, our bed, with panadol etc. She wears a teething necklace aswell. She has had tooth after tooth come through recently which doesnt help. We have my mum and sometimes my sister living with us the moment which I know has been a big disruption to our lives.
At about 1o months DD started to bite me, and this is still going on, I have tried all suggestions, from screeching, to walking away, to time out and yes I even have bitten her back as much as I didnt want to do it. This has not worked either. Sometimes she is even biting herself.
When she doesnt get her way or gets frustrated she head buts things and I dont mean just a small head but she smashes her head into cement, walls, cupboards and throws herself around her cot smashing her head onto the sides of her cot, she repeatedly bangs her hands onto the sides of the cot and kicks it over and over.
Her face and head have always got bruises and/or cuts, people are going to think I am beating her.
In my opinion (and I know all parents think their children are intelligent) she is very smart, she knows alot for her age, like animal noises, words and objects. I also realise that this behaviour could be out of frustration that she cannot tell us what she wants properly. However we have nearly always managed to understand what she needs and its mostly when she does not get her way that she acts like this.
I am so sad and upset that a 14 month old can be so emotional and so so angry.
We are a loving home, in a rock solid stable relationship, my DH and I are best friends, there are no issues at home that could be upsetting her.
She can be a sweet caring happy little girl.
I am almost 25 weeks pregnant and I am concerned the stress of all this is going to affect my health as when DD is getting upset I can feel the baby become more active and seems affected by it all.
I dont know if its the teething, however I think not because pain relief makes no difference. I dont know if its additives in food as I dont know much about it.
I dont even know how to fix it and I am desperate to fix it before this next baby comes along.
Just to add, I am a stay at home mum and DD and I are never apart for more than 1/2 -1 hour at a time.
I am sorry for this being so long, I guess I needed a vent and to write it all down, like I said I am on my knees I dont want to be in tears at 3am anymore, I want to be asleep with a happy toddler asleep also.
Thanks for listening.
xoxoxo

[Ginger]

oh Salad, i couldn't read this and not reply.
sleep deprivation is awful, especially when you're preg too
is your little girl walking yet? the reason i ask is that both my boys went through really challenging, wakeful, frustrated stages just before they started to walk.

[Lulu]

Are you up for taking her for a swim somewhere? I find that swimming totally exhausts them and can sometimes break that HORRIBLE no sleeping pattern. It will also work her muscles and can help with the frustrations.

HUGE hugs, I've been there too

[Pandora]

:hugs:

Sleep deprivation is a biatch
Biting at that age is generally frustration or exploring, not malicious. It doent matter how many words she has if they aren't the ones she needs IYKWIM? I know that doesn't make it easier to deal with ds1 did it from around 13 -18 months, and distraction was the best technique. Or another child doing it to them.

It could also be related to you pg..

[Arimeh]

is your little girl walking yet? the reason i ask is that both my boys went through really challenging, wakeful, frustrated stages just before they started to walk.

Yeah I agree with this - DD1 had a horrid time with sleep issues, and I think we are just coming out of it now (she's 19 months). We were getting 2 hours sleep a night - and I was pregnant as well, so I know how bad it feels!

I have no advice, we tried everything (even wrote a few threads asking for advice!) and nothing seemed to help except for time...

[sloane]

is there any way it could be related to food? i've been reading some stuff on additives recently & some of that behaviour sounds like documented reactions to the colouring 160b...sorry, not much help i know but just something that sprang to mind as soon as i read your story.

hope things improve for you soon

[sneakysparkle]

I don't know if these things will work for you, as my girl's circumstances were different, but here are a couple of things that have worked with us when they display challenging behaviour.

Turning things into a funny game - sometimes if they don't want to do something, or are doing something undesirable (like banging their head) you say "Oh dear! Poor wall! Don't hit the poor wall" and the idea is to just get them laughing. If its putting shoes on - "Come on shoes! Go on DD"s foot!!" etc etc

Having special "stomping" music - when they are grumpy/upset I'll say "do we need to stomp? come on, lets put the stomping music on and get our grumpies/angries/whatever's out" at the moment our stomping music is "crazy" by Gnarles Barkley. This just gives them an outlet for whatever theyre feeling.

As I said, these things may not be appropriate for you to try, but I thought I'd share anyway. I hope things improve for you soon

[Salad]

Thanks for the replies

Ginger: she is walking and has been for the exact amount of time that this has been happening for, I thought the same thing, some developmental milestone or something believe me my mind has explored many avenues as to why this could be happeing.

Lulu: I never know what I am going to get when I take her swimming or to the park etc, she either is buggered and sleeps or too over stimulated and wont sleep, I guess its worth having a go if its sleep that is the end result.

All I can say is that I am glad its friday and DH will be home with me for the next couple of days.

Sloane: I agree this is also a thought that I have had, unfortunantly I do not know alot about additives etc so I might have to post a thread for a crash course on it, I guess even if it doesnt help its good to avoid those nasty numbers.

Sneakyspakle: Thanks for the ideas, I will give some of them ago, generally if she is upset and throwing herself around she is screaming so loud you cannot get her attention but maybe peristance will prevail.

Once again thanks everyone, fingers crossed it doesnt last too much longer, its been a long six weeks already.