Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: AGRO 3 year old. Help!!!!

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Millbank
    Posts
    123

    Angry AGRO 3 year old. Help!!!!

    Talia has just turned 3 and boy oh boy have we got anger management issues. She has no idea how to control her frustration. If she gets annoyed at you for telling her to do something or to stop doing something she gets really agro and will bite or kick or hit out at you. She calls you stupid and silly. She has an excellent vocabulary and alot of people with kids have said she is very grown up for her age. Its just she doesn't know good ways to use her frustration and anger or how to get rid of it. I want to reinforce the good behaviour and not the bad. But if she is being really well behaved and playing nicely by herself if I interrupt her to say how good she is being it spoils it. And if I get angry at her when she is misbehaving she is getting the attention that she wanted. So any advice how to teach her to manage her frustration and anger and how to reinforce positive behaviour would be really good.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Wonga Park
    Posts
    379

    Default

    I posted a simular thread a few weeks ago. Mackenzie hits and bites and gets very agro as well and it is so frustrating - I loose my cool with her and then I get angry with myself as I'm the adult!. I have been using the naughty corner - although I just call it corner as she was starting to call herself naughty which she really isn't. I've also started taking things off her when she dosn't do as I ask ie - today she was driving her car up the wall and I asked her to only do it on the floor. When this continued I removed the car and explained why I was taking it and then gave it back about 30 mins later and explained it was to be used on the floor. Yesterday I coped one in the eye from her which scratched my eyeball (very painful and DH is away with work until Thursday) so into the corner she went. I also warn her if we are out that we will go home if she continues to hit/bite etc. It is a long process and I can't really say things have improved that much but I'm hoping that it is becoming clearer. After all Mackenzie is only 2 (nearly). Talia being 3 is probably more mature to reason with and get the lesson across that bad behaviour results in having her privledges removed (toys etc) and maybe try the corner and see if you get any improvement. I always give a warning and think she understands what will happen if she dosn't do as she is told. Don't know if this will advice will help - seems like I'm preaching but it's not working for me! I'm sure she will come around just as Mackenzie will with time and age.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Millbank
    Posts
    123

    Default

    What "corner" do you use? And how do you get them to stay there? Like they are being punished already by having to sit in the corner but then how do you punish them for not staying in the corner?

    She is so hyper sensitive lately. You even raise your voice slightly at someone(eg some idiot driver whilst in the car) and she yells back at you saying "you're scaring me". But she says it alllllll the time.

    I don't know. Nothing seems to be working lately. Just really can't get her to behave when I really need her too. Starting to make me go bonkers.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Wonga Park
    Posts
    379

    Default

    I understand........ I use a corner away from toys/tv/fun anything. When she trys to walk away I put her back. It didn't take long for her to understand when I said to stay there i meant it. When I first started I picked her up stood her in the corner and said 'do not move' in a very stern voice. I stayed within eye contact with her and if she moved sternly told her not to move. Don't know if this is the right thing to do but she sure understands if I ask her if she wants to go there (as her first warning) as she usually says no. She did make me laugh though when I asked her a few times and she has responded with yes and ran off there - it only happened at the beginning. The other day we were playing with play dough and all of a sudden she pulls me up off the chair and stands me in the corner saying 'corner' to me!! These are the fun times and remember there are these times inbetween the tantrums. Chin up we WILL get thru this!

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Millbank
    Posts
    123

    Default

    Thanks for the encouragement nikbrad. I think I am just way too tired and stressed out at the moment. Have been looking after a sick friend in hospital as she has no family here. Had to take her to ER and was there til 2am last Thursday and haven't had much sleep since. Ahh well the joys huh?

  6. #6
    Kell Guest

    Default

    Hi. I do the same with Molly (3 and a bit) except we have a 'naughty chair' in our bedroom away from fun stuff. The first time we used she just stayed there, i couldnt believe it! We give the warning too, explain that the behaviour is naughty (not Molly herself iykwim?) and that she will go on the chair if she does it again. We are careful not to yell because that results in her yelling back - if she sees us responding in anger etc she will do the same.
    Another idea may be to have a good star chart to reward the good behaviour, rather than interrupt her you can wait until she is finished something and then say how good she has been and give her a 'good' star on her chart and when she gets a certain number she can have a treat, you can also use this for naughty behaviour i spose
    You could also ask her to explain her feelings at the time she is angry, i know its difficult to get anything thru when in these moods , but if you can get her calm enough you could ask "why are you cranky, sad, etc' and having to actually think about her feelings and behaviour may help her calm down...
    Sorry for the long post, hope some of it helps

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •