Am I being overprotective re babysitting?

[LuluHB]

I'm always accused by my ILs of being overprotective of the girls so I thought I would ask you ladies and get a bit of a reality check.

We have a wedding to go to in a couple of weeks that has both the service and the reception in the couple's backyard. There will be other kids there from about 6 months of age up to about 10 years old that will all be babysat by a 13 year old girl in the lounge room of the house. I'm not at all happy about adding my two to the crowd and have given a polite thanks but no thanks when offered the "babysitter's" services. I've had a few comments since that I'm being ridiculous but I'm just not comfortable with a child looking after so many children. My girls are still so small and DD2 is incredibly clingy at the best of times.

So, I would be grateful for your thoughts on this.

[Danni]

I don't see why that would be called being over protective.

Is the babysitter there because kids are not allowed outside?

[Nadine]

I don't think your being overprotective at all. There is no way I would be letting a 13yr old mind that many children at once. I know you will be around, but still, it only takes a second for something to go wrong. If she was only looking after your kids then "maybe" I would consider it.

So I totally agree with you turning down the offer.

[LuluHB]

D - no. The kids are welcome outside. Its more a "dumping ground" so parents can be outside enjoying themselves without having to worry about their kids.

[Mother Goose]

Nope - I wouldn't be letting a 13 year old look after that many kids at once... and certainly not my 8 month old! Older children are able to come and tell you if something is wrong but an 8 month old isn't. And I certainly wouldn't be letting a 13 year old I didn't know well do it! Geez, I'm funny about letting ADULTS baby sit my DD and she is nearly 2!

[Ozziehoffy]

I wouldn't be allowing it either. I think that it's unfair of your IL's to even say that you are being over protective!! As far as I'm concerned that is part of a parent's job... to protect your child!

[Danni]

Well in that case, why would you "dump" them?

If the kids are invited, and are welcome, then why not enjoy the wedding WITH the kids.

[BeautifulMadness]

i wouldant let a 13yr old CHILD babysit my CHILD/REN. ur not being over protective

[Nelle]

I don't think it matters who else would do what according to their own standards Lulu, if you're not comfortable with it, then I'm glad you declined. I think it's a bit rich of people to call you overprotective - how can you look after your young children too much? Some people say they're protecting when they're smothering, but this is not smothering. In a way, you're also looking after that 13 year old, who perhaps is in for quite a stressful time if she ends up with a lot of kids.

I hope you enjoy the wedding!

[Laranna]

Nope, I don't think you're being overprotective, you're being sensible! I would not let a 13 year old child babysit my 8 month old. I'm still cautious of letting adults babysit him! I'm glad you declined Lulu. Don't listen to the in-laws, only you know what's best for your children. Enjoy the wedding!

[LuluHB]

Thanks ladies. Nice to have some reinforcement in my views.

Nelle - don't worry. Even if I had had a kazillion responses telling me I was being an overprotective idiot I still wouldn't have left my girls in that situation! When you get so much opposition its nice sometimes to just check what other mothers think. I don't care really what I'm called anymore and I will always do what I believe is right for my kids, no matter who else thinks what, but I think we all like to know we're not the only ones who believe in something.

[AliBaby]

In a way, you're also looking after that 13 year old, who perhaps is in for quite a stressful time if she ends up with a lot of kids.

I agree.

That is exactly how I felt and I was 10yrs older than the 13yr old who will be looking after the kids. I even had a parent stay with me to help as she could see how stressed I was.

[kelebek]

lulu I definitely don't think you are being overprotective and not only would I not allow my little child to be looked after by a 13 yr old but I wouldn't allow my 13yr old child look after that many littlies...

[krisp]

You are absolutely not being overprotective. The idea of a 13 y.o looking after 1 child let alone several is rediculous. I would not allow my 2 to be supervised by a 13 y.o who is actually still a child herself. What are these people thinking?