I went to Twedle earlier this year, and if they say they dont do controlled crying, they are lying! Thats exactly what it was!
I was told to put DD down in the cot wide awake, and walk out of the room. When she started crying, I could go in there, and pat her and make sshhh noises till she calmed down, but couldnt pick her up or look her in the eye. When she calmed down, I was told to walk out of the room (this took about 30 mins), and then if she started crying again, wait a few more minutes, and repeat the process. If this isnt controlled crying, I don't know what is!
I would definitely look into the other schools, cause I dont think Tweddle will give you what u are looking for. Let us know how you go!
Wow kellie -- how did you go with it? Did it work? It does sound like it is too full on for me actually. I am surprised that my MCHN suggested it as she knows how I feel about these things.
I will definitely look into other options ... or if I hear back from Pinky I will tell you how it went.
I really wonder if any of these things really work, I mean isn't it just a case of growing out of it? Or am I being optimistic?
Nox - I didnt go with it... I was also promised that it wasnt controlled crying, so as soon as we got home, I went back to my usual ways, which were sometimes feeding to sleep, and sometimes just cuddling to sleep.
I am very interested in what you find out though, cause I want to know that she will settle for other people, if I have to go back to work.
No I haven't read that book. I'll tell you what I read Pinky's Sleeping Like a Baby and the Sears Family's Baby Book and their Baby Sleep Book. All of these make you feel fabulous for following your instincts which was wonderful. BUT I have to say that in terms of real likfe strategies I didn't get too much out of it. I know my kid's sleep signs ect but it is the way I put him down that I guess makes it hard (*although according to these authors, I am perfect the way I am) but like you, I am back at work and need to feel better that he is being settled!
I have asked Pinky about this directly so will let you know what she says. I have also been told that he will settle for others if they try their ways for long enough. I am just concerned about what those ways may be -- or in the case of some day cares, that if he doesn't sleep, he just doesn't sleep -- which of course I understand!
I am really not sure that I feel ok about going to to school for this .... but maybe it is the only option? I like everyone else, just want to do the right thing, in spite of all the comments about spoiling etc I get!
I want to continue with attachment/gentle parenting but I need to make it work for all of us, including now for me. There must be a way! I will keep you informed!
First of all, pfffft to anyone who uses the word spoiling in reference to a baby!
Nox, techniques like cc may 'work', but at what cost? What are we really teaching our baby?
You know, I have come to the firm conclusion that whatever we do as parents, babies will sleep how they are programmed to sleep. As in, it will be determined by their temperament. Well done to all those who have excellent sleepers, feel free to pat yoursleves on the back for having such a good baby but IMO, it's more to do with your baby, not you. I've felt like that for awhile now, and it was confirmed for me by our paed who said pretty much the same thing when we saw him at 12 months. We mentioned that although we weren't concerned by it, DS wasn't a good sleeper. He asked about his sleeping patterns, and upon hearing them laughed and told us that our boy was perfectly normal. He said he's not sure where these stories of 'most children are sleeping through by 12 months blah blah blah' come from, he thinks it's crap
That's not to say that you can't tweak things a bit. Certainly you can change things drastically if you're happy doing that (again, at what cost ). Some kids will respond well to sleep training, some won't. Our DS actually responded a whole heap better than I thought he would. But I figure at the end of the day, whatever we do, our DS is never going to be a kid who just hops into bed and goes to sleep on his own (and I can't say I blame him). That's not to say I've 'given up', more, come to terms with the reality of his sleep patterns. Which certainly makes life a lot easier, and less stressful!
Just remember, this age will pass by so quickly. Before you know it things will be different, and this may not be of such a concern to you. And if it is, maybe when your bub is a bit older you might feel more comfortable with the idea of sleep school. As I said it took me almost a year!
I think that when the going gets tough in other areas -- work, teething, colds etc it is just really hard to keep perspective on the reality that this too shall pass.
I have emailed the O'connor centre to find out about their beliefs. Again I guess if I hesitate there must be a reason ... I know that Pinky is interstate, but I await her comments!!!
I know that while I too should not stress over it so much I can't help myself!
Janie -- do you have to work hard to get DS to sleep?
I am sure in the end, it just works itself out! Afterall there were no sleep schools until recently and people survived!
Just quickly, DS has always been difficult to settle, but it's getting easier in recent times. I think it's him getting older, rather than anything we do. Mind you, the easiest times are when he feeds to sleep. And last night was atrocious, but he's been unwell, so that never helps.
When he was tiny I had to do laps of the house with him to get him to sleep. I had a broken foot, so that was no mean feat LOL. I worried that he would never go to sleep any other way. But of course he did, he got too big to carry around endlessly, so we restricted the walking around to his room. And then we lost the wrap (at 9 months , he loved it) and then we just sat in a chair. Sometimes now he'll go to sleep in his cot, but it's not that often. Sometimes he'll go to sleep on the boob, sometimes he feeds, sits up and puts his head on my shoulder and goes to sleep immediately. Sometimes he feeds, sits up and decided it's play time LOL. Just like he got too big to be walked around, one day he'll be too big to feed to sleep, and too big to sit on my lap, so I try not to worry about those things anymore.
What I'm trying to say is that things change all the time, and what you're worried about now may not bother you in the future. Of course, it may be replaced by other worries, but hey, that's life LOL.
I'll be interested to hear what the O'Connell centre says
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