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Thread: That awful feeling

  1. #1

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    Nov 2006
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    Unhappy That awful feeling

    I go to two mothers groups and with one of the groups we go to Gymbaroo too. I really enjoy them all and was always quite proud of myself for not ever feeling "jealous" or comparing too much my DD with the others. In just a few months I've quickly learnt that babies do what they want when they want and you can't compare them and it's not a race.

    Up until today anyway!!! DD was very cranky last week so I took her home - sigh - today she had HEAPS of sleep before gymbaroo so I thoguht she would be in fine form but once again she was grizzly - not as bad as last week but still...

    I left today feeling a bit disheartened. I don't want her seen as the "difficult" one cause I know she's not!! She's back in bed now so maybe she's just really sleepy today but still.... how do you cope with those feelings that your baby is not doing what the others are?

    As far as I can tell she's developing quite nicely - certainly not in front but def not too far behind either eg.
    - she's 6 months this week and can can roll from tummy to back but not the other way.
    - She is just starting to reach out for things in front of her.
    - She does not sit or try to stand.



    Is there more I should be doing with her?

  2. #2

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    I wouldn't worry too much, babies all develop their skills at a rate that suits them, not suits our expectations.

    My DS didn't sit until he was 7 months (to the day) and isn't walking. We aren't worried about it too much. My DH always says that the more time they are taking to learn that stuff, the more time they are spending on developing their brain ie. will be more intelligent.

    Probably not one truth in that, but makes me feel better when I see a 9 month old at daycare walking on her own and my 14 month old won't!!!!!

    No point in comparing because you just feel low. And DD wouldn't want you to feel bad. So try to cheer up!!!!!!!!
    We are all in this together - doesn't matter what stage we are at, as long as they can walk on their own or go to the toilet when they are 15

  3. #3

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    Hi Jordie

    I am sure you are doing heaps of great things with DD. I don't think at this age there is anything that you can do to make her roll sooner, crawl sooner or walk sooner. In my experience of babies they do things in their own time and not before. There will always be something that your bub is doing that another bub isn't and the other way around.

    On being the "difficult" baby - trust me I've been there too. DS always seems to be the first one to crack it. I am sure other bubs have their moments, it's just ours choose to do it in public when we want our perfectly behaved bubs to be on their best behaviour.

    Congrats on your bubs turning 6 months.

  4. #4

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    Jordie - it is my belief that babies will develop in their own time no matter what you do with them Your little girl sounds like she is doing perfectly, and you shouldn't worry. As far as the grizzling goes, she may juts be going through a "spurt" or a phase, or she may be feeling under the weather (teething perhaps?) In know ds would go through many phases of uncharacteristic behaviour at certain times.

    You're doing a great job, and I'm sure none of the other mums would be labelling your dd as the "difficult one".

  5. #5

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    If you had 10 babies each would have a different personality... relinquish control... you can't do anything about that. My 3rd baby is the one to crack it in group settings. Every music lesson (a program designed for 0 - 4 yos) he cracks it at least once. Because I have had 2 other children i know I am doing nothing wrong/different... it's just him.. and that's ok. He's my 'feisty' one and you know what? Aftter having a 'shy' one I'm glad! I know that my lively little man will have the confidence to go to kinder/day care without tears (for example). Every personality type has pros and cons. The perfectly behaved little angel could be the one who is a follower at school and does everything the feisty kids tell them to do because they aren't used to speaking up! Your little girl has the confidence to let you know how she is feeling and that is great. Just keep meeting her basic needs and don't worry about what you have no control over. She might have had an upset tummy too. I know it's hard. Babies have no other language sometimes but to grizzle and throw wobblies. She needs you to show her that that's ok to be upset. If she senses that you are upset when she gets upset that could upset her even more... IYKWIM.

  6. #6

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    honey I'm sure everything is fine, you are right they do things in their own sweet time and not to our promptings.
    I had a similar feeling about DD my boss approached me and asked if I thought their could be a problem with DD's hips??? (I work in long daycare and my DD attends the centre where I work she's in the infant room) at the time she was the exactly the same age as your DD and was doing the same things could roll to tummy but not back again. She really didn't like pulling herself in to a sitting position and some how developed a way of sitting up that involved her doing the splits almost which I think is where the concerns came but two weeks later she started crawling and so far she seems to spend a fair time observing others before attempting I had the question asked of me again just after her first birthday as she hadn't started walking either and I swear as soon as my boss has approached me with her concerns DD started walking with in the next two weeks.
    so I am really sure that you're DD will do things when she is ready

  7. #7

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    All babies are different! I know for me it's not a competitive thing when Angus does something new, I'm just so excited at him doing a new thing that I haven't seen before that I love to tell people! It's not a boast or comparison just my silly excitement over seeing something new.

    Angus went through a grizzly phase just before he was 6 mths too, and I think it was frustration, as he wanted to move to get things but couldn't. He could roll, but not sit or crawl or anything. A mere day after he was 6 m he commando crawled and suddenly was less grizzly - he could get toys and amuse himself! Now he seems to acquire more mobility every day, which means not a seconds rest as developing skills mean stacks spills and accidents. Enjoy this time before mobility and speed hit!

  8. #8

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    I understand that sinking feeling but can I encourage you as others have that all bubs are different. I have 2 girls and I am forever marvelling at how, even though they have the same parents, DD#2 has powered on to do stuff that DD#1 hadn't even thought of at the same stage but also vice versa. There has been the odd moment that has made me worry just about the comparisons between my own 2 if that makes sense but then, it has also made it even more clear at how different each child can be, whether all your own or a mixture of many children from many families iykwim. You'll probably find too that all of a sudden, your little one will start doing everything all at once!! That's when the camera has to be within reaching distance and fully charged and loaded!!! Coz you'll blink and miss it!!

    I agree with the frustration possibility at not being able to go and do what her little mind is wishing to do....... even though DD#2 is almost 9months, she is commando crawling everywhere but boy can she get very cross if she cant get to what she wants when she wants. Now if she was walking around or even more sturdy on all fours, I think she'd be a whole lot happier... oh but certainly not wishing that on just yet, lol!!

    DD#2 is also in a clingy phase so when out and about she can appear quite sooky and even antisocial as she'll only play socialite for so long before its mums arms or a very unhappy tyke! It used to make me worry when DD#1 did this as I was constantly thinking what are other mums thinking of me.......sooooo don't care this time around! Lol!! If my bubby wants me/needs me, and I can be there for her, of course I will!! After all, I'm her mummy and I know that she really is a happy little chappy at home, she's just a bit shy.

    Anyways, that's kind of a long ramble but I hope it helps you to relax love as I'm sure your little one is going at such a wonderful pace for her own development and you're such a great mummy so just have fun with your princess!

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