Book: Raising Girls

**Heaven** · January 14th, 2010, 02:05 PM

If you haven't read it I highly recommend it!! I am reading it now and it's great!!

Not only getting tips on dealing with DD as she grows but also understanding myself better.

**Butterfly Child** · January 14th, 2010, 02:11 PM

Ohhh i was wondering about that book will definently have to check it out now thanks hun xxxx

**Heaven** · January 14th, 2010, 02:21 PM

The book has also made me think of another thread here somewhere (I can't remember where) where we were talking about building self-esteem in our children. Some people were saying SE should come from within and therefore instead of saying to your child 'wow, I think you did really well' or something you should rephrase it to 'you must feel proud of yourself' and not saying things such as 'good girl' etc. Anyone remember that thread??

Others were confused and saying that they thought it was natural to be saying 'good girl' etc. I was one that agreed praising your children and telling them how good they are was a good thing to do but I didn't comment bc I didn't know how to say why I thought this.

Anyway, the book explains it. Girls develop who they are and their self-esteem through relationships. They develop their sense of self in the context of relationships. They need to hear that they are good and admired and beautiful and smart and everything else. It helps them to know that they are worth while, that they are enjoyed, they are important, etc, and develops their self-esteem.

So anyway, I just wanted to put the other point of view out there. Both ways are important I think. Letting them know how proud you are of them and also helping them feel a sense of achievement within themselves.

No one probably knows the thread I'm talking about now, wish I could find it, would have written this in there instead.

**Winter** · January 14th, 2010, 02:30 PM

I really enjoyed Raising Girls and have a copy which I will keep on hand as a reference book as DD grows up. I thought some of it was just common sense stuff, and the rest were things that I hadn't thought about and was glad that I'd been made aware of it.

Only part that I thought was a leeetle far fetched was the relationship between girls & horses. I'm not going to be buying DD a pony, that's for sure!!! But I'm not against it entirely. If she develops an interest off her own back, then I will be happy to foster it...to a point.

**Heaven** · January 14th, 2010, 02:32 PM

LOL Winter, what?? I didn't read that. Just a bit about girls and pets in general!!

**Winter** · January 14th, 2010, 02:38 PM

There's definitely a section on girls and horses! I've lent my copy to a friend otherwise I'd quote something from there. Have you still got your copy? Have a look, I promise I'm not mad (well ok, but only a little bit!)

**Queen** · January 14th, 2010, 03:48 PM

I really like it too! I borrowed it from the library but loved it so much I brought it!!!

**Taurean** · January 14th, 2010, 08:04 PM

My DH got it for Christmas from BIL & SIL. I totally forgot about it! Must steal it off him!

**Shanti** · February 20th, 2010, 02:58 PM

The book has also made me think of another thread here somewhere (I can't remember where) where we were talking about building self-esteem in our children. Some people were saying SE should come from within and therefore instead of saying to your child 'wow, I think you did really well' or something you should rephrase it to 'you must feel proud of yourself' and not saying things such as 'good girl' etc. Anyone remember that thread??

Pinky McKay talks about that stuff in her book "Toddler Tactics"....