bad professional advice... the insensitive, unhelpful and just plain wrong!

[thepixie]

I apologise in advance if this becomes a bit of a rant, but some of my baby buddies have been getting upset recently about advice from midwives/ MCHNs so I thought I would share this and see if anyone else has any similar stories!
While I was in hospital with my DD I went to a breastfeeding class with an LC who was described by the mw on duty as "the best".
This LC said that "breastfed babies don't get wind" and "it's impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby." Now my fully BF'ed DD belches like a trucker after every feed, as does every baby I've ever met, whether BF or FF, so I knew to take what she said with a grain of salt after this. Also I and other people in my babies group have had big problems with overfeeding. It stands to reason it IS possible to overfeed a BF'ed baby, as everyone's supply is different... some people can't produce enough and others need to limit their baby's feeds otherwise they will explode!
Anyway, in the course of this talk she also said "you will feel tired because of the hormones... you will feel sleep deprived but you aren't really it's just hormones." She also said hormones will make you disorganised and forgetful, then she got up one of the class members saying "well you should be more organised shouldn't you?" This girl had asked how to unlatch her baby from the breast and the LC said why would you ever want to do that? Err, I need to go to the toilet? That's when LC said she should be more organised. Hello, this woman was three days PP and feeding for an hour or more at a time! She also got angry at this woman for asking questions about expressing, saying "why would you ever be away from your baby for long enough to need to express?".
This seemed really cruel to me. After all the woman was just asking simple questions and all she wanted was technical assistance with BF'ing her baby. She didn't need or want a guilt trip about her parenting style having been a parent for all of three days!
I was lucky that DD had jaundice and slept through the whole class, but after this I steered well clear of the LCs - if she was "the best" I didn't want to know about the rest! I just asked MW's for help with latching etc, I found they would just give you the help you asked for without a lecture, an attitude or an agenda about your parenting style. (No offence to any LC's here, but this was just my experience when I was in hospital.)
So - since you had your bub what professional advice have you received that made you want to slap the provider and/ or later discovered that it was dead wrong?

[luna moth]

OK, this isn't quite the same, but I'm not one to turn down a rant opportunity! At a cc centre where I worked briefly, there was a little boy whose family sent him in with a glass bottle to drink his formula out of. The director was in one day, and asked why he had that, then told the GL that she would have to tell the parents to bring in a different bottle, as glass wasn't safe. That night, the GL spoke to the father who said "we have heard about some research suggesting that plastic bottles leach chemicals into the milk" When this was relayed back, the state operations manager stepped in and said "well, they're wrong. that only happens if you microwave them?"

Meanwhile I'm sitting there quietly, blood boiling, but too new to jump in and do anything, as it wasn't my business. WHO CARES if it's wrong? It's what the parents believe and it should be their choice, and the only reason they wanted to change is because they were too lazy to sit with the child while he had the bottle. They tried to pull the "safety" reasoning, but another branch of their organisation allows all children to drink out of glass tumblers, even under 2s. So that's BS.

The family were forced to change. I left one week later. The organisation that runs this service is widely regarded as "the best" (and in some states, they are) but in this instance, just riding off someone else's reputation.

I don't think you would have offended anyone with your rant. As a professional, I don't generally mind hearing stories about another professional offering poor service or advice. find it gives me the chance to paint the "here's how it should look" picture.

I hope you got some good advice in the end!!

[mbear]

i cant think of any exact examples, but i know some of the advice i was given with DD#1 (born in 2003) was totally different to what i received in 2007 with DD#3. So what so that i stopped going to the clinic when DD#3 was 4 months old. I found friends, BB and ABA was more helpful should i need that support/advice.

Oh, and maybe Barb or someone else can correct me, but i thought

it's impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby."

this was true. I read and have heard that there is a hormone within breastmilk that tells bub when he/she is full??

[sushee]

I believe it's true too. Yes you can have oversupply but your baby (unless it has a medical condition) can't overdrink BM. Which is how your supply eventually regulates (though not always - with my 3rd child, I always had enough to feed a small nation).

But I do actually think you can't overfeed a BFed baby.

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

I believe it's true too. Yes you can have oversupply but your baby (unless it has a medical condition) can't overdrink BM. Which is how your supply eventually regulates (though not always - with my 3rd child, I always had enough to feed a small nation).

But I do actually think you can't overfeed a BFed baby.

This is true.

My GP (Who I don't see anymore) was a shocker. When I was having probs breastfeeding Aurelia, he goes "You can't keep breastfeeding just because you want to. There aren't any real benefits to breastfeeding beyond 3 months anyway." And another GP; "You co-sleep? Well that's a problem in itself"

Moral of the stories: "Medical Professionals" aren't always right!

[mbear]

Thought so, thanks Sushee......

[thepixie]

But I do actually think you can't overfeed a BFed baby.

Well I don't know either way, but one of my baby buddies, myself and one of her mother's group all seemed to manage it! It may not be possible but if changing it solves the problem then that is fine with me! LOL

[Dasharity]

I was told in hospital with ds2 that if you breast feed every 4hr during the day and every six at night that it is 96% proof against pregnancy, and the midwife was pushing this sort of contraceptive, i questiond this and she shot me down and said it was right, now i feed every 2 hrs round the clock and my period returned at six weeks. for me i new full well that this was acurate but there where first time mums in there and a young girl as well and if they went along with this then they might have become pregnant again before they where ready

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

Well I don't know either way, but one of my baby buddies, myself and one of her mother's group all seemed to manage it! It may not be possible but if changing it solves the problem then that is fine with me! LOL

What would you classify as overfeeding though, when the baby becomes "overweight"? Overfeeding means the baby is eating too much for it's health, and I don't see how that's possible, though it's entirely possible for a baby to eat too much for mothers convenience (there were days I literally couldn't put Aurelia down when she was a newborn, she just insisted on staying on the boob).

[Karina]

When Claire was 3 - 4 months old and still on breastmilk only (no solids yet), MCHN told me "oh youre feeding her every 3 , sometimes 2 hours?? Thats way too much. She should only be having milk 4 times over 24 hours"
I told her WTF? I get hungry more frequently than that.

[paradise lost]

I just had to google about this because i knew it was true but i couldn't remember what caused it but for some women a tumour in the brain or endocrine disease CAN cause the excessive release of prolactin (whether she is nursing a baby or not) and that DOES make her produce excess milk. For that reason a woman who has a very large breastfed infant PLUS other symptoms which might indicate an endocrine issue are screened JIC. So if you are ill, you CAN overfeed a breastfed baby, but limiting time or frequency of feeds doesn't help, you have to get the underlying condition treated. There is no way to overfeed a breastfed baby by simply putting them to the breast when they're hungry.

Bx

ETA - my favourite bad advice was during labour. I needed to push. "Don't push, baby is just posterior, you want to push because of that". Oh yeah, why is her head crowning then?

[luey]

Bad advice? I have plenty. We have had a cracker fill in MCHN who when we were talking about sleep and settling and I was saying that my DS's routine had changed. He had gone from sleeping a 6hour block at night up to 8weeks and then reverting back to 4 hourly overnight and through the day and would scream when we put him in the cot. It had only just changed and I was laughing about it and I guess didn't look too concerned. Advice given was "he has done it again, he will do it again" . Well I am still waiting, I might occassionally get 5hours but not often, often it is 2-3hours even overnight.
The other fantastic gem was " if you want him to sleep he will, you just need to be firm and positive". HMMMMMMMMMMMM I was really wanting it, another girl could see that and thinks it is hilarious. Needless to say that weekend I was trying those things and unsurprisingly they weren't working. By the sunday night extremely sleep deprived and stressed, I ended up beside myself and probably borderline PND. I was resenting my DS and hating myself for it. I decided to just go with whereever he slept and how much and not to stress.
At 14weeks I started DS medication for reflux and topping him up. Which one worked I am not sure, possibly both but the change was immediate, he was so much happier. Both were things I initiated. There was no suggestion that he may could be refluxy when lying him down despite the bed being elevated. I am ok, I still occassionally have bad days but that is usually due to sleep deprivation.
The regular child health nurse is not a great deal better, she does not ask enough questions and goes by the book. When my DS was 6 weeks old I had him weighed and I mentioned the fact that occassionally he only had 5 feeds in 24hours. She asked if I was waking and feeding him after 4 hours during the day. I said 'no' as he was very colicky and I figured he wasn't hungry/didn't need it at that time and I did not want to cause him more pain. She said his 'weight gain was adequate but not outstanding so I should keep on top of it'. From memory it was pretty good in my view and I then remembered that he had fed frequently the previous evening and I was still feeding for an hour at a time. What got me was she didn't ask how much he had fed the day before, how long he was feeding for. IT was a blanket response with no real though. Needless to say I just go along for a catch up with the others.
I am yet to find or hear of a "good" MCHN. Unfortunately I live in the country and we don't have a lot of options.

[luey]

double post. DOH

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Oooooh!

Evil midwife while I was in hospital with DS:
- You'll never be able to breastfeed, just give him formula it's better for him.
- (to another patient just after checking my stitches) You don't have stitches? Clever girl.
Quite a few more but just little niggles, nothing really outstanding any more.

My HV (MCHN) is wonderful: DS loses weight and she just tells me to give more fats because he's so active, no worries (others would hospitalise DS). He doesn't sleep but that's normal - I don't want to CC? OK, don't.

My GP suggests every time there's a health problem (usually that I need a break and my body's telling me this) that I should use disposable nappies instead of cloth. Yeah, like I need the extra work of buying nappies, carrying them home, chucking them in the bin outside, spending money, running out of nappies, DS getting rash from the nappies... cloth is so much easier but she doesn't believe me!

My boss, an Endocrinologist, also told me and DH that BFing was an effective contraception. We knew better! Although DS was 11m old before I had my period back. Even so, not worth the risk.

My breast-fed baby would over-feed like mad. I had to limit him to one side only or else he'd throw it all back up again (all over DH usually).

[Rach75]

its not along the same lines but how bout my GP telling me to give Jack sunshine powdered milk when he was 8 mths and was sick WTF!!! thnakfully I had enough common sense to ring my CHN and was able to catch up with her, and she advised I use soy based or even goats milk formula for a week or so and then reintro his normal formula she was horrified I was given such outdated advice from the only dr in town