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Thread: Biting

  1. #1

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    Default Biting

    What do I do when Milo bites people, and how can I stop this behaviour?

    ATM we are saying "No!" or "We do't bit people" and then put him down and walk away, so no interacting. If I do much more than this is laughs hysterically and does it again!

    Its driving me crazy, and yesterday when I collected him from creche we were told they're had to stop him from trying to bite one of the kids!



    Any suggestions?

  2. #2

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    Rachael,
    Eliza has been biting for a while now, we have tried everything except the biting back as I dont agree with it. When we pick her up from daycare I always have to ask if there is anything to sign..a incident report that you can bet it is biting. The daycare heve been working with me on this small steps mind you. She is always sent away from the area that she is in and usually we are finding it can be when she wants things other kids have or tiredness. Eliza has a mild speech delay which working with a therapist she is learning words that will hopefully either alert a carer she may bite or srt the problem out for them selves. Today at a park a child came up and poked Eliza in the eye...but I sat her down and had to explain that when she does somethings like biting it hurts the same she kinda got the picture. Daycare told me not to worry it is an age associated thing. I have been told by friends that Eliza would look good in a hanibal lecter mask
    Bec

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    Bec - I simply can't believe any of it when I look at Eliza's picture. She really is the cutest little girl!

  4. #4

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    i don't know if you've tried this..it sounds really simple, but has really worked with owen.. when he started biting at xmas time, we just kind of pretended he was giving us a kiss(and moved away a little so he couldn;t latch on!!) and said "kisses" to him and made a fuss about him giving a kiss and after a few days he just kept kissing everyone, no more biting..he is a super smoocher now, and just kisses all the time..but not sure how this would go if he's biting other kids, there was only adults around, so it was a very united effort..good luck!!

  5. #5

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    Rachael - I wish I had an answer for you and myself but unfortunately I don`t, Matthew started biting at 14 months, I was very heavily pregnant at this stage so thought it was attention seeking as I couldn`t do what I used to do with him but it has continued, now it seems when he gets excited he bites, you should see por Adrian at times, I feel like a bad mother but I watch Matthew like a hawk and still he manages to bite Adrian, he is so quick, it`s got to a stage that sometimes Adrian doesn`t even cry he`s so used to it.

    We go to Gymbaroo on Wednesdays and the last couple of times Matthew has very nearly bitten children there, I feel so embarrassed about it and feel like the other mothers think I`m absolutely hopeless at my mothering job.

    Whenever Matthew bites I always tell him no, biting hurts, we don`t bite xyz, I then put him into his playpen for 2 minutes - sometimes it works sometimes it doesn`t and two minutes later he can be back in there!!!!!

    Like totalbabe if I catch him early enough I pull him off Adrian and say give Adrian kisses, yes it does work and he is a very kissy cuddly boy.

    I`m so sorry I don`t have any ansers, I just hope they all grow out of it soon......

    Bec- Hmmm why can I see myself filling out incident reports everyday if Matthew was in child care

    Oh Rachael - Is Milo biting Daddy too? It`s Adrian, myself and other kids that Matthew goes for but he is getting better with me and I`m not covered in bite marks like I used to be - I was often in tears after him biting me.

  6. #6

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    Awwww well im going to be the horrible one here...

    My DD who is now 13 bit me once when she was about 15 months, unlike Bec g I did bite her back and she never bit again. I know it sounds horrible but it worked. I didnt bite her hard but enough to let her feel it. Bec G I dont know if I would do it to my son Callum who is 1 as things have changed over the years.

    Rayray, Im not sure what to say but maybe what Christie said might be a good way to stop Milo.

    Maybe try that .

    Good luck!!!

  7. #7

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    I remember my mu saying i bit her once and she was told to bite me back so she did and i never did it again.

    Lily bites me when she doesn't want to hold my hand. Like if say we were in a carpark or something. Or if she's trying to run away and i have to hold her. I don't beleive in biting back though but have tried everything else and she still does it. She's over 2 now and knows it's wrong though. I don't have any advice, but you're not alone!

  8. #8

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    Yeh I find it hard when people tell me to bite her back so if your child slaps you across the face or pinches hard do you expect to do it back. I cant understand how people can see how violence back is going to teach them right and wrong especially if there main role models do it to them iykwim.
    Anyways I was talking to a few mums last night at a party and discussing Elizas piranah ways and they all had friends thats children talked later and they all bit. Hopefully once Elizas assesment comes through and we start to work with her it may cease.
    Kysalyss: Thankyou she is a sweet heart and a special one at that with a love of all things naughty
    Bec

  9. #9

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    Funny you should say biters talk later. Lily doesn't talk much either.

  10. #10

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    I think it is late talkers tend to bite to try and communicate, Lily may not want to hold your hand but instead of saying No I dont want too, its easier to put your hand to her mouth. I've heard this from the speechie too, I'm pretty sure we wont have 7 year old biters but as Dee said it gets a tad embarrasing when it does or neally happens.
    Bec

  11. #11

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    Thanks for the insight, and advice!
    I think I'll try the kisses thing. He often does it when he *is* giving kisses though, so its hard to to tense up when he gives me a kiss, not knowing whats going to happen! But we'lll give it a go.

  12. #12

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    Ooh, thank you for this thread as Maddy has in the last few weeks taken to trying to bite our hands (or shoulders!). It happens in particular when I try to move her away from something she wants to be doing or when she's trying to tell me something.

    You know, I was thinking about this today and it reminds me of when I used to be a disability support worker. My first shift on my own with a girl with an intellectual & physical disability, I did something to upset her without realising and she grabbed my arm and bit me. It was only when I looked back at it that I realised it was an action from frustration and her not being able to communicate to me what she needs & wants.

    The first couple of times Maddy bit me I immediately thought she was just being naughty (don't get me wrong, I still think it is that some of the time) but now that I've had time to reflect I've realised I'm going to have to look at the individual situation and decide what reaction I need to give.

  13. #13

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    Mackenzie was a biter - and did it for about 12 months, she also hit, pulled hair. She was an early talker and was very good at it too so i wouldn't necessarly say it was frustration but some of it was. She stopped biting about 6 months ago and her behavoiur has improved (we now get 'I didn't hit xyz - I was good' when we leave friends houses/play group etc. I too don't believe in biting/hiting back etc as this only shows that yes I can hit/bite too. I was worried about it when it first started but as one of the other mothers pointed out to me 'how many 3 year olds do you see going around biting'. I think it is an age thing and only some kids go thru it. Mackenzie was hit etc about 3 weeks in a row at playgroup by one particular boy and by the 4th week she just hit back and things just went on from there. We did use the time out corner from the age of about 15 months and this did help but didn't stop it. As I said, now she is 2.5 I can't remember the last time she bite and yes she still raises the hand to me every now and then when she isn't getting her own way but she says sorry very quickly and gives me a cuddle and kiss - sometimes before she even gets sent to the corner (she walks there herself). She has more tantrums then hiting/biting incidents now and she's slowly growing out of them too. It's all part of the wonderful journey. Just keep a close eye on him and get ready to pounce if you see it about to happen. There are no answers, just do the best you can!

  14. #14

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    nikbrad - It`s great to see there is "light at the end of the tunnel". I`d forgotten Matthew is also a hitter so if he`s not biting he`s hitting and both happen during the same time - when he`s excited. I know at this age they can`t control or understand their emotions.

    Matthew is on line with his speech, I just asked my MCHN aboutthis two weeks ago and he should be saying 20 single words at 21 months, he`s well and truly got 20 plus and each day pops up with something new.

    I`m with you girls two wrongs do not make a right - I`ve had my Dad tell me so many times to bite him back. That may have been the in thing to do years ago but not now and not from me.

    I got quite a shock this morning at Gymbaroo, I was lining up waiting for Matthew`s stamps and the teacher tells me in a not so nice way "Your going to have to watch Matthew this week:. I had no idea what sjhe was talking about, I`m always watching him like a hawk, he very rarely leaves my side, she then went on "He bit a little girl badly last week" I asked her "When did it happen as I`m with him 99% of the time because of his problem" She said she has no idea but the mother told her about it. Um hello it would have been nice to have been informed then and not a week later, I felt so belittled, I just wanted to grab Matthew and leave as that`s how I felt that they didn`t want us there because of his cannibal nature.

    The only time I can think of when Matthew could do this without me knowing is when I grab Adrian to leave the hall.

    Now I feel I shouldn`t be taking Matthew to Gymbaroo as I don`t want him biting but as I said in my earlier post I have seen him very nearly bite a couple of children when they are giving each other cuddles so I guess I`ve been kinda lucky it`s gone so long without an actual victim being bitten.

    I just don`t know what to do, if I don`t go it will save a lot of stress of having that worry but on the other hand it`s the one and only time Matthew and I socialise with other mums and bubs and this is also important

  15. #15

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    Dee, continue to go to Gymbaroo. We too got there and although I was never told to keep an eye on Mackenzie as you have been I also think it is up to the other mums to step in and stop the biting etc if they see it happening to their child so it's not just one sided. As you said you watch him like a hawk and all you can do is apoligise if he gets one in before you can stop him. I understand you being upset and I think the Gymbaroo lady could have handled it better. Sometimes they just don't think. Don't be discouraged, if anything socialising is the best thing for correcting behaviour, how else are children going to learn how to act/socialise with each other. Is there any chance you can get into a Mothers Group? Talk to you MCHN about setting you up in one in your area. They are great not only for the kids but are great for you too. Don't feel bad or belittled, we can not control little people - and you will be able to tell who the little girl was because I'm sure the mum will try and stay clear so don't be discouraged. All kids have some type of issues and this one will be over soon. Just remember no one is to blame and it is just a phase.

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