sorry your going through such a rough patch, we had the same issue with DD1 with waking and wanting to sleep on the couch, in the end for our own sanity we just let her get up and sleep on the couch, she stopped after about 2 months on her own, we just left a blanket and a pillow on the lounge for when she got up. I felt bad about it at first but looking back it worked and everyone including DD1 was a lot less upset
I dint know if that would work for you but I hope you get some answers
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