MCHN fill-in vent GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[Janie]

I took Nicholas for a quick weigh today. I knew that my usual MCHN is on holidays, and that we'd be seeing someone else, but as it was just a quick appointment I didn't mind. Well, now I realise how lucky I am with my normal MCHN! This woman today really pi$$ed me off. There was a whole bunch of little comments that got to me, but the big one was when she asked me how many feeds a day Nicky has and when I told her 7-8 she said that was way too many and that he should only be having 4-5.....WTF?! I had tried to explain our background to her, but she musn't have listened. If I dropped him down to 4 or 5 feeds a day my supply would probably dry up! Not to mention he would be starving!

Apparently he *should* be sleeping through the night now, he's old enough. The inference being that I'm doing something wrong there

And I know my wonderful MCHN is going to be annoyed by this one, she told me and two other mums while I was there that we should be starting our kids on solids at 5 months. Now the usual nurse is always drilling into us that we need to wait until 6 months! She's not going to be happy when she gets back........

And I'm not happy either! How dare she sit there and tell me all the things I'm doing wrong with my baby. Sorry for the vent, I'm just so annoyed.

[Michelle71]

Big hugs Sez You are doing a great job and that woman should be (metaphorically) shot!!! In my current state of sleep deprivation I probably would have told her she obviously is out of date with her information (with regard to solids) and ask her about her qualifications for breastfeeding and her experience in the management of an infant with a high palate!!! But that is just me I am FAR more subtle when I have enough sleep

[Beach Mama]

Sez - how frustrating hun..:hugs: Take heart that you know best for your little man and that as you said your regular MCHN will be furious when she gets back. I guess the worrying thing is imagine all the first time mums that have her as their MCHN who are probably stressing out that bubs arent sleeping all night, and who are starting solids early Being a mum is stressful enough without having idiotic women like her telling us what we *should* be doing. She *should* get her facts straight. to you and Nicholas.

[christy]

ARgh that is just wrong. Thank goodness you have the information & are able to know that what she is saying is out dated & wrong.

[krisp]

Yes I was told that my DS didn't need all his feeds too by a MCHN. He was still getting an overnight bottle up until about 3 months ago (he's 19 months old now). At 8 months he still had 2 o/n feeds and didn't sleep through until about 8 weeks ago. Baby's sleep through when they are ready, what is with the "should be sleeping through" rubbish that people tell you? Do they think that our baby's read the text books? Sometimes Mummy knows best and you just have to take all the worthless and stupid advice/comments you get from other people with a grain of salt!!

[Bathsheba]

Oh Sezjm you poor darl having to deal with that woman. I would have nodded silently to everything she said then as soon as I got home I would have written all that rubbish down so that my baby brain didn't forget then hand it in to your usual nurse next visit. Rest assured you are doing everything right, don't let people like this undermine your intuition and all the great advise you can read here on BB.

[Olive]

aww sez that sucks, i had the same problem when my nurse was away, the fill in made me cry!! i only see my nurse now, shes a lovely lady, where do you go???

[Jayney]

Don't you wish at the time you would have come up with something to put her in her place? I think if one mom (in her case it might take more) stood up to her and said
"How would you know how many feeds my son needs? As noone knows how much milk he has each feed nor how many calories are in each feed, how could you possibly know after 5 minutes how much he needs.

As for sleeping through the night seriously? How many babies are actually sleeping through the night at 11 weeks? Not mine.

I am mad for you! You just want to say "Weigh my baby and keep your opinionated comments to yourself. If he is gaining as he is supposed to and is healthy then.......Shut up!

[MrsFabuloso]

Aggh silly woman!! You're a great mumma and noone knows how your son needs to be mothered other than you!
And sleeping through the night, gosh my DD is nowhere near that yet and she's older than Nicky...I must be a dreadful mother!! Babies don't sleep through the night and if anyone expects a restful nights sleep with a baby under about 2 then you're just kidding yourself! If you get a good nights sleep and you have a baby under 1 then you are one of the lucky few!! Thats what I think anyway

[Janie]

Thanks so much everyone!! I was worried that maybe I was overeacting, and being silly, but I guess not I now wish I'd said something, but at the time I was a bit gob-smacked. And also, she wasn't horrible in how she did it, IYKWIM? So I didn't instantly get my back up (which is probably a good thing). I have been pointed in the right direction to make a complaint to DHS......and I'm going to! Like someone said, I just thought of the first time mums who rely heavily on their MCHN for information, and aren't lucky enough to know about BB!

Michelle, you have a good memory! I dare say she has no experience of feeding a bub with a high palate

Tan, you're right, I just keep thinking of all the mums who will take her word as gospel

Bath, what a brilliant idea!!!!! I'm going to do that. I did nod silently to everything she said, and now I'm going to write it all down for my nurse.

Jols, mine is lovely too! I go to Bonnie View, Nth Croyds. She has been so supportive with our feeding issues, and with my foot etc. Nothing is too much trouble for her.

Thanks for the support everyone, I feel less angry now! I'm just so grateful that she was only a fill-in!

ETA I agree Kellie! It made me think of your Dr who always asks you when you're going to stop BFing.......where is the support in the community? ALL HCPs should be supportive IMO.

[Janie]

I've done it, I've sent the email! I remembered one other thing........apparently I need to stop treating Nicky like a premmie, as there's nothing wrong with him. I know that, and I think I just treat him like a normal baby, but she knows nothing of the complications in his little life, so how dare she comment! I know that's just difference of opinion, but that comment probably upset me the most at the time.